March 29, 2007


I don't wanna go to heaven
. Yeah, I said it. But before you cross yourself on my behalf, stop for a moment and think about the implications of going to heaven, for you (if this is your desire, anyway). See, most religions have this thing about an eternal utopia in the afterlife, you know, people dying and meeting their God, you know the rest. But me, I've really come to ask myself what's the biggie self? Why can't this earth just be made perfect for us to live in? My stance here is based from the "Christian" mindset of those who want to go to heaven. I know what most of the other religious faiths preach about some heavenly afterlife (*grins*), but I won't bother touching that here.

Ask yourself, "Why do I want to go to heaven?" Most of our decision and desire of wanting to go to heaven stems from the effect of what some opinion leaders have on us, you know the religious kooks (excuse me), the likes of pastors, imams, monks, swamis, the works. For others, it comes from a 'thorough' understand and belief system that works for their whims and the 'truth' found therein their different faiths. For the many I've discussed with, there's one unifying objective: They want to go to heaven to "be with" the Lord. My next question for such ones is, "Who says God needs additional company?" From what I've read in The Holy Book, God has myriads upon myriads of powerful angels who minister to him, day and night. And if he needs more company, he might just as well create more angels. He's omnipotent. So who says he needs more "ministering" from any one of us. Okay, okay, God does pay attention to us as individuals and probably does want us to be with him. For those who have more time and understanding, they go one step further to tell me "being with God" doesn't simply mean staying physically redundant, there's more to it, like "ministering to God" like the angels who are already in heaven do. Oh well, and serving God. I just don't find that explanation satisfactory enough.

For most of the "Sunday-goers", they say it's all about "enjoying" and "escaping the troubles" plaguing the earth currently. You know, people actually carry this picture in their mind of heaven being a place for grooves, eating, and you know all those good ol' jolly stuff. Hmmm, I ask myself if they truly know what it entails. Well, there's just too many reasons I've heard, and the only substantial ones I've come to accept is that as it is spelled out in The Holy Book, Jesus speaking about having abodes for his disciples in heaven was for a different purpose. They are going to rule with him in his kingdom as kings and priests,and judge the earth. It says that somewhere in The Gospels and also in Revelation. So a lot of those who just jump in the heaven bandwagon do not really see the sense of going to heaven. You'd be going there to serve, yo! So if right now on earth you find yourself too stuck up in your pedastals and won't kiss ass one bit, then think again if you entertain the prospect of heaven. Heaven is for submission to God and worshipping/serving/ministering (whichever works for you) HIM day and night. Go figure! Ask the current angels serving. I don't mean to try and talk you out of this goal, but think of it. You will be up there floating around the throne of God, day and night, for all eternity. Like Diddy said in "What's Beef", "Ask yourself...Do you know what beef is? Then ask yourself, do you, really want beef?". I'm telling you to ask yourself and get your priorities straight. Do you really see yourself doing that for all eternity?

Another thing to think of is, if God really cared so much for us to be in heaven, then why these whole transition on earth? I'm not saying God doesn't care and all, but why come to earth first? Who says the earth is a breeding ground for prospective spirit persons in the heavenly realm? That's what most people believe, that when babies die, God takes such ones to be angels in heaven. Or when some good guy dies, he's gone to join him in heaven to "continue"...Hmmmm.

Well, I read somewhere in Psalms 115:16. There David says, "As regards the heavens, to Jehovah the heavens belong, But the earth he has given to the sons of men." Whatever other translation you have may read slightly different. But the point is, the earth is for men. Which now brings me to my own position. So if not heaven, where else?

That verse says God made the earth for man. And there are so many other verses in the scripture that points out that the earth is gonna be forever, it ain't going nowhere. So why can't we make this earth a better place? Some people still cite portions of The Holy Book where there's some statement about the earth being engulfed in fire and everything going to naught. But how come another part of The Holy Book says the earth is gonna be forever. Well, Bible-bashers have some field day there using such cases as pretexts for their claims that the Bible contradicts itself. But I'm comfortable believing, based on the ratio of occurrences of the concept of a here-to-say-earth to a soon-to-be-obliterated earth in the Bible, that the earth isn't gonna be going anywhere, hate it or love it. It's here to stay. No, not even a global nuclear warfare can take the earth out. My belief is that God will in some way intervene and not let this happen. Nor would he let man ruin the earth to an uninhabitable state.

Come to think of it, you as a property owner see how your tenants mess up the premises. Would you because of the temporary mess destroy both the tenants and the building altogether? Reasonably, this shouldn't be the case, especially if there's still so much to salvage from your property. You'd probably evict the tenants and fix your home for a more suitable type. I prefer to see the earth as still in a salvageable state. It's not as bad as it seems. It's humans: you and me that have gotten things to the dangerous state they are in (see ozone depletion, global warming, tsunamis, just to mention a few). Scientists, to a reasonable degree have been able to see that this has been as a result of human interference with the ecosystem. So let's let the beautiful Galapagos remain, the rockies of Colorado, the wonderful islands in the pacific rim, and all those breath-taking vacation spots we all fancy. Let's give the earth a chance. You'll love it here, really. We've already touched the part of the different lovely places there are to go. Let's imagine the meals we enjoy, booze, friends, orgasms (:-D mm hmm, that, too), kisses, colognes, beautiful sunset and sunrise, rainfalls, spring - You wouldn't have all that in heaven. And oh, no fancy stuff up there, yo. There's really no mention of such lifestyles anywhere in The Holy Book I know. It might be different in others. Like I said, I'm not going to discuss other faiths, though I don't mind drawing some "web-fire", but I'll let that rest.

My point is, let's make the earth a better place for you, me and our unborn kids. Who knows, who just knows, God might change His mind? I mean, He told Lot that if he could find just one righteous soul in ancient Sodom and Gomorrah, He'd spare the city from being destroyed. Boy, Lot even bargained with Him. Everything looks hopeless. The apocalyptic end of the "wicked world of humankind" described in Revelation is looking ever more real and religious kooks are getting orgasmic painting up different versions of how it's all going to turn out. But I think there might be a way out, no?

Whatever happens, I'm trying to live life to the fullest and wish, wish God will take me as I am, either ways.

I'll leave you all with this little one:

An 85-year-old couple, having been married almost 60 years, died in a car crash.

They had been in good health the last ten years, mainly due to her interest in health food and exercise. When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen, master bath suite and Jacuzzi.

As they "ooohed and aaahed," the old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost.

"It's free," Peter replied, "this is Heaven."

Next, they went out back to see the championship golf course. They would have golfing privileges every day and each week the course changed to a new one representing the great golf courses on earth. The old man asked, "What are the green fees?" Peter's reply, "This is heaven, you play for free."

Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the cuisines of the world laid out. "How much to eat?" asked the old man. "Don' t you understand yet? This is heaven, it is free!" Peter replied. "Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods?" the old man asked timidly.

"That's the best can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick. This is Heaven.

"The old man looked at his wife and said, "You and your bran muffins. I could have been here twenty years ago!"

PS: I still haven't found my mp3 player. I'm still trying to run away from the reality that is unfolding with regards the fate of my heart, my one and only. I even connected to it more than I have with any other thing, real and unreal. sErIoUsLy! I feel so empty, I cannot even find the right words. But I'm coping! And maybe, just maybe, it might show up, no? All the scenes I've painted of how it got missing doesn't offer a spec of hope of it returning. But who knows? It's two weeks (tomorrow, Friday) and counting. I'll let us all know what happens.

PPS: And for the breaking hearts out there, please hold on and get a grip! It's not over until it is.

March 19, 2007

Werin de?

Mo da ran o!:

WHERE IS MY SANSA O! I'm so frigging pissed man, the sound of the keyboard as I type testifies to this. Since Friday, I've felt this vacuum since I last saw my beloved mp3 player. It has everything that'd wake me up from the bluest of days: Pics, songs of all srts... ALL THAT GOING LIKE THAT? GOD FORBID! That day was mad busy and I cannot even remember very well where I must've left it. I've created awareness of the missing Sansa at most of the spots I was on Friday and hopefully I can find it. IF NOT, I don't know what I'll do. But my current inu riro (tummy upsets) is enough to tell what is to come. Yes o, it's that serious! Please pray for the reunion of me and my Sansa.


So I have noticed that since the government released new #50, #20, #10 and #5 bills respectively, people have been sparing with spending them. Life WTF?! Why in hell was it produced if it isn't meant to be used? I had to wait for over 15mins over the weekend to pick up change from this woman 'cos she wouldn't give me the 4 pieces of new #20 bills she had on her. So she kept wandering about trying to find someone to help her. I was so furious cos I spotted it and asked her to give me from those ones, but she refused just because it's the new bills! Hmmph, some Nigerians sha!


I was talking to a girlfriend who was in the hospital this weekend. So she said she did a lot of scripture reading while in the hospital 'cos she felt "closer to God" in there. One of her observations? I quote her, "...God gets Bitchy in Isaiah. I couldn't believe it was the same God that Jesus talks about in the Gospels." Lol @ God gets bitchy! That really got me rolling! Just an honest look at it. If you do the same to most other parts of the Bible, esp. in the Hebrew Scriptures (O.T.), you wouldn't help but say, "HUH?!"


*Making a mental note, I've found two sweet names I want for my two girl children: Daphne and Zoe. Daphne has some Greek Mythology roots, but do I give a rip! My daughter wouldn't have some funny stories about her (I hope), so I don't think giving her that name would sorta influence her behavior. Some people think that way! Duh, a lot of us know some Nigerians named "Innocent" who are so "holy", don't we? Psheeww. Zoe, well, Zoe means life, 'nuff said. I kinda have a feening for Greek and Italian names.*

One of those:

I think I have discovered this friend who really sees through me and tries to make me see the true potential in me. She believes in me and what's more: wants us to be together. Hmmm, it isn't like I haven't known for some time, it just takes some kain events like this for you to open up and accept things as they are. Right now, I'm on this journey of discovering her. While a side of me wants to so badly open up, there's this part of me that's fighting a losing battle of curling away from her. My, everytime we talk, she says these things and I stand there grinning like an idiot, cos the words she say seem to be too good to be true. But I'm someone who find it hard to believe, and when I do, it's probably the good stuff. So I dunno, I'm still buying time, but I hope I don't bargain so much that i lose out on the deal in its entirety.

Weekend gist:

I leave in the 'burbs, so that means there's some sorta communal living. Just this weekend I saw this couple bashing each other in the open. The man is this inebriated, no good! He's like that. Unfortunately, a "man" like me and I should pro'ly be rooting for him 'cos women are behind all evil, NOT! As I learned from their son ( and yes spare me, sometimes I be amebo) who was outside almost crying his eyes out (na so o, man de cry), he told me he'd met his dad at this "joint" ealier in the morning (can u imagine that, the man wakes up to drinking in the early hours of the day) telling him how the house needs some money to make their meal. He acted like he din't hear and his response by the time he gets home at about the time I saw him (3pm) is to start punching the boy. Unfortunately for the boy, he's not the type to man up to his dad and kick his blokus then run off for days, so he stood there crying. His momma (the hustling-home maker type) runs to her son's defense, and the rest is what I saw for myself. Man lying on his back covered with so much sand, woman thumping him from on top. He was too weak from too much booze to fight her off self. Like one of my friends will say, damn shame. And when some kids turn degenerates, we ask what went wrong.

Pic of the day?:
I feel really embarrassed for him every time I see him, meehn. Maybe embarrassed shouldn't be the right word to use, but ho hum. See all those marks on his face. He'd have been this handsome stud like that (I'd bet he still is to his wife). I mean, the guy usually dresses to kill just like in this pic, fine suit and all, but his face, that face! :( Sha, I'd bet he's gotten used to it, just as his wife and fans would have.

Ze End:
Finally, welcome to blogger, Mr.Fineboy! I've been laughing out loud at his posts. It just comes naturally, the way he composes and all! Good to have you on this joint, man!
For the rest of us, have a good week!

March 13, 2007


I rushed out of home very pissed 'cos I couldn't settle down for my regular. After a very stressful morning, I thought I deserve to spoil myself a little. I spotted this joint, Ebun-Oluwa Restaurant, and decided to stop over. There are countless other names spotting the scene, all trying to get people come in to eat (Irawo Jesu; Adamawa Princess; Udoka; Nwanyi Anambra et al). You could see people of different backgrounds; Hausa, Igbo, Yoruba, Mullato, Lebanese and what have you all united with one goal. In this place, you'd better shove your shakara and decorum wherever you are coming from and enjoy your meal. The atmosphere was so friendly. One thing is common, everyone's either has pockets of sweat at the forehead or tip of the nose, collars carelessly loosened, handkerchief on one hand to manage the sweat and perhaps runny nose, the other hand used to molest ogunfe, round-about, kpomo, the works. No holds barred!

I settled down and ordered for amala ati obe efo-riro ati egwusi, kpelu eran ti oto bi eti Abiola. When the amala came, boy, was I impressed! So erotic, so smoof; the blackness was glistening ehn, I didn't know when my lips gave way and released a drip. Happy times!

What's with people fronting when they aren't at home? Just 'cos u cannot shout at your daughter/wife/househelp doesn't mean you have to come out of home to misbehave. Abi as they say, charity begins at home, so he pro'ly treats them that way? Some guy just thought he'd up his ego by barking demands and orders at the waitresses (<<<---- who by the way, could pass for your regular office secretary, if no be say na condition make crayfish bend, ehn, why'd they be keeping such jobs? Fine, fine girls). I almost got verbal with him but I was just too lazied up by my recent bout that I let it pass. You live to fight another day, shey? Maybe he won't be lucky next time and he'd meet his size.

The amount of tokunbo cars on the roads lately is almost unbelievable. Of every 5 cars that'd pass on the street, 2 to 3 will be a Rover 620 Si. Well, I wouldn't mind one for myself but then, Naija people sabi flood the market with all these things sha. Some years back it was the VolksWagen Golf, then came the Nissan Sunny and Toyota Corolla models, and now this. So much for blocking the borders...

March 6, 2007


I turn left, there's a guy with a girl, or it's the other way round. Everyone is hooking up O, getting royally laid and sharing the juicy gist, and I'm being left out - being the good boy, only talking about quotes from my textbook, the next fly upcoming rock artist et al. I feel like the 40-year old virgin, though I don't come as close.

In light of this, a member of the league of boys decided that we go shake it off yesterday evening. So I rushed my classes and hit the road. I joined them at this open air joint with all the good stuff - booze, P&K (Point & Kill), meat and fish grill and two ladies. Getting late into the night, the mood getting lighter, girls chuckling in response to the drink's tickles. Well, the guy na ladies man so he had fun with both girls flanking him left and right. One of them grinning and winking at me at intervals. Oh heaven, I'm in for it. I was on other side of the table trying to be in control and "sharing the brighter life".

Fast forward, it's about 2100hrs. As if jolted back from a trance, one of them dames was like, "OMG, it's time!" gegen gegen, it's show time, I thought to myself. I finished the last leg of sparkles in my bottle, readying for some action. My homeboy was like, "time for what?" The other girl helped us, "Ah, don't tell me you don't know o!" She looks at me, managing to show disbelief and disdain at the same time. "Abi, u self don't watch it?" Still in la la land, I'm like, "Watch what?". Then they both spared us the suffering, schooled us outdoor boys about The Gardner's Daughter, the episodes, what's been happening and where we are in the whole soap, how they wanna go watch the day's episode and would expect us to join in. Was I disappointed? I'm not sure I was. All I remember was I wanted another bottle of beer. I no bargain for this one o! What rubbish!? Spoilers oshi *hiss*

Next thing I remember sha, I must've told them off and bros left with both damsels. I was left alone. Connect the dots...I found myself at home, unscathed, with plate of food on my bed, migraine hitting hard. SO much for a hookup. Will I do it again? I no know, but the evening no too bad sha.

Random Musings:

Why in hell is The Vatican called "The Holy See"? What's so holy that no one else sees but them? I can't place it.

If marketers/sales people so much succeed to sell their products and services, get good clients - is there a propensity that they are so suave AND catch all the fine ladies? Do they succeed with catching the fine girls?

I was just reading stuff on market research, segmentation etc and my mind wandered, no blame me.