February 28, 2007

Awoof ...

People say awooof de run bele! Not with me o, not this type! I got me 8 books for the price of 6. 2 down, 6 more to go.

Judy Blume's "Wifey" - An adult novel. An adventurous housewife with a boring guy, but she's caught in between her love and doubts. In the end, they work it out. But in between, is whoa! A really good read.

Ed Gorman's "Everybody's Somebody's Fool" - I love mysteries. Who doesn't? Except boring people, I'd say. This one has sooooooo much satire and pun. High school friends at a reunion party, until a corpse was discovered around the host's premises. So much investigations, untold truths revealed and more. I finished it faster than I did "Wifey". Such a huge page turner till the last. And when I turned the last page, I thought there was more. I just couldn't believe the story ended there.

The other titles I'm yet to finish are:

* R. G. Austin's "The Castle of No Return" - I'm contemplating giving this to my niece who's almost teening. She'd like it. It's more like a 'make up your own ending' kinda book. From the first page till the last, you find yourself in different scenarios and you have to choose how you'd act in each, until you either get killed in the process or you rescue some hot damsel and you'll live happily ever after. I picked this one cos I was too giddy from the array of choices I had to make. Anyways, nothing spoil! I will make up my own ending before I get rid of it.

* Robert Asprin's "Thieves' World" - Just started it. But it's about some fictitious city called Sanctuary. The book has to do with this story of an event that took place in Sanctuary. Then 4-5 different guys made POV narratives. It's good reading an event's account from different sources. And not just ordinary sources, thieves and the like. I can't wait to grind through till the end.

* M. Night Shyamalan's "The Sixth Sense" - Based on the movie by the same title. I can't wait to read this. I haven't seen the movie, yet. So I thought I'd read up on it just to prepare my mind. Hopefully it's good.

* J. Bernhardt Hurwood's "The Invisbles" - The back cover and prologue made me pick it. The black and read color blend and this washed out body in the back cover increased my pulse. It has this eerie thing message, "You'd never be the same after reading this" kinda tone. So I wanna see that happen to me.

* Helen McInne's "The Salzburg Connection" - My kinda book - after mysteries, satire and much recently adult :P - Espionage and all that high expectancy. I can wager it'd be good. I won't say much on it until I figure it out myself.

* Jon Sharpe's "The Trailsman - Seven Wagons West" - You can tell this is Western from the title. On the cover, this guy had this very menacing-looking moustache. You know those dark, bushy types you find on Mehicans. I can tell there'd be a lotta gunnin' in this one, yesh!

That reminds me, I used to crave Lonestar adventure novels, you know, where the Indians battle off the Cowboys. I had a couple until some sneaky schmucks stole 'em all. I never valued books back then.

* Han Nolan's "Dancing on the Edge" - Another mystery. Murder and all that stuff. I can't wait either.

I don't really have much to share, but I found this quote by David Frost in my Marketing textbook hilarious:

There have been many definitions of hell, but for the English the best definition is that it is a place where the Germans are the police, the Swedish are the comedians, the Italians are the defense force, Frenchmen dig the roads, the Belgians are the pop singers, the Spanish run the railways, the Turks cook the food, the Irish are the waiters, the Greeks run the government and the common language is Dutch. -

hahahaha! Europe na wa!

AAAANND, some French bashing. You probably wouldn't appreciate this if you are unaware of European/French history. But I got a good laugh on them:

1. Q. How do you say "Give me liberty or give me death!" in French?

A. I give up.

2. Q. How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris?

A. Nobody knows. It's never been tried.

3. Q. What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up?

A. The French Army.

4. Q. Why was the Chunnel built under the English Channel?

A. So the French government could to flee to London.

5. Q: Did you hear about the new French tanks?

A: They have 5 gears...4 in reverse, and one forward gear just in case they're attacked from behind! *lmao*

6. Q: Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney?

A: Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender.

7. Q: Why do they have trees in Paris?

A: So the Germans can march in the shade instead of the sun

8. Q: Why is good to be French?

A: You can surrender at the beginning of the war, and US will win it for you.

9. Q: What is the first thing you are taught when joining the French army?

A: To say "I surrender" in German

10. Q: Why was Jesus not born in France?

A: Because they couldn’t find three wise men or a virgin.

11. Q: Did you hear about France's new weapons contracts?

A: They gave one to Ace Hardware to produce 250,000 wood sticks...they are still looking for a company to produce 250,000 little white flags.

12. Q: Where are the brave French soldiers buried?

A: There aren't any so they had to bury some of ours on their soil.

February 19, 2007


Pardon my manners, I'm supposed to formally introduce myself to those I met here, but I've gotten very comfortable already. Thanks guys! The previous post shouldn't have been the first but when I had the dream, it got to me wrongly so I thought I'd talk about it sharply.

Well, some stats:

1. This is a new blog for me, but I'm not new to the art of blogging in itself. I've been here starting from the later part of '05 and the whole of '06.

2. I realized there's some more flexibility on blogger than there, so I decided to move.

3. yada yada yapper.

So before I end this one, I just want to share my little experience this noon. Burger no go kill me o! I called up my cousin for a lunch date this noon at the nearest eatery around her workplace. I haven't seen her in 6 months, though we both live in the same city. Pathetic, you might say! Sha, they had this place called Big Bites and at the other farther side, Savannah Chum Chum. I subconsciously chose Chum Chum as I've never been in the premises before. I got there before her so as I wait, I decided to feed my eyes on what's on display and got busy ordering. Oh wait, the place was queerly 'dry', except for this guy who was munching indifferently at his meat pie, staring blankly at the loud TV nearby. The burger there looked like one I couldn't resist it: layers of minced meat, contending for view with the onions, lettuce, tomatoes, all neatly spaced and the dressing dripping like saliva...I've always loved burgers. I asked her to heat it up. "Ding" goes the microwave. I couldn't wait to pick up my change from the waitress as I hurried off to down this thing, PLUS my cousin was coming in and she'd have to order her stuff, also...I was hungry anyway. I ease myself into the thing and the taste was something I couldn't place. For the sake of information, I'd just say it was sour as vinegar. I felt like throwing up! The oh-so-fancy meat was sour and over a day old I can bet my kini on that. I was very disappointed. I didn't even see the whole picture. The lettuce hid the the whole lot of cabbage inside, which together with the meat gave the burger this kind of size that got me rolling in the first place.

On my way out, I couldn't help but return to the cashier to tell her what I went through. Of course she told me everything they had displayed was oven fresh. On close inspection, you could see that the whole menu has lost grace. I just was too hungry to take note. And all that glitters isn't gold-my cousin had told me it was forlorn but I din't listen.

Kai, my bele o...wait make I go s...

February 12, 2007


It was a vibrant party, you know, with all the juvenile zest. Fast-forward and I see myself with this chubby, little boy with a bottle of hennessy. He looked 15. He got friendly and we settled down to drink. I made him drink some of it, 'cos well, he sourced it. But what would a 15 year old be doing with a bottle of Hennessy? So I thought we'd leave the rowdy part of the party and go chill out with the bottle in the nearby hotel. As we walked towards the building, there were careless glances, like no one really gave a damn about me carrying the bottle with the lad walking with me. Of course we were off to down it all, that's what's up! But there was this lady who stood up, and while walking to the nearby phone booth, she kept looking at us...hmmmm. I ignored her and moved on. Little did I know she'd made the call that was about to get me in trouble, or at least the way she looked at us, it appeared she screwed me (us) over.

Back in the hotel room, I gulped half the bottle of the henny, feeling high and shit. I left the remaining half for my brother who took a stroll earlier. Not long after, the kid excused himself and I felt good with myself. He reappears with a thick wad of cash and says we should go get some grub. A 15-year old boy, holding close to 10Gs. That's something. I didn't bother fussing over where he got dough from and we decided to go grub. He probably got it from the same source as the henny.

Scenes change and next I found myself back in the room but the kid wasn't with me. Door opens and three men sauntered in. Two hefty guys with chest as those of King-Kong flanked the smaller figure standing in between, left and right. The guy in the middle had some facial resemblance with the kid, but he's dressed like a traditional ruler - an Otunba to be precise. "Who's Joshua?" the Otunba asked. It was just me in the room. Without saying anything, sensing trouble, I rose to my feet. I tried to get close to the door, but both guards killed any attempt to escape. One of the two was carrying a black rucksack. He proceeded to open it. I saw what looked like bottles in the bag, with some queer-looking substance in them. "Here's hydrogen peroxide...this is sulfur...and this one is a concentrated acid..." He said in a very threatening voice. He took out a dirty, wrinkled piece of old paper and continued, "This is a receipt for purchasing these chemicals. This receipt is outdated, which means the chemicals are expired. I will have you drink of these, and there's nothing you can do about it. What were you doing with my son?..."

Now I knew what was happening. He was the kid's father. I looked at the door and noticed both guards weren't there. Without hesitation, like D'Banj, "mo gbe ja" (I took off). As I ran, I could hear echoes of his angry voice in the hall way, "You cannot escape." I fell into trap doors, and picked up myself, running with all the strength I could gather, sucking in as much oxygen to help me escape. I keep hearing the words "You cannot escape." every entrance into and exit from any of the rooms. My pulse quickened, my heartbeat was going at some 100bps (beats per second). I kept wishing and saying to myself, 'Josh, this has gotta be a dream. Just (move) and you'd be out of it. This has gotta be a dream. Shake yourself out of it." In no time, I found my face in my pillow with sweat dripping all over me. IT WAS A DREAM! I was close to peeing my pants, but I quickly dashed to the loo. It was a dream, after all.

I'm no Nebuchadnezzar, but all I've got to say is where are the Daniels to come decipher this o, cos fear catch me. I'm not the type who fusses over nightmares as I'm quick to tell others to dismiss whatever they say they saw in their's. But this one got at me o, cos I've not had a nightmare in a long-ass time. So wetin una think say dis one come mean? Or was it becos no one called to wish me sweet dreams before I gave head to my pillow?