January 28, 2008


Scene 1:

"This girl no know say I don marry? Which kain wahala be dis nau?"

That comment was what made me realize why this guy's been ending/silencing his calls as we drove most of the distance on our 9-hrs' trip. So you know you are married but you went ahead and got laid? Now she's coming back for more (or something else and he's complaining)

Scene 2:

"...I come wake for morning come see say the girl still de sleep. Na im I vex come de sing, "Oya make we go, oya, Oya day don break o! Oya come de go oya, oya day don break o!" When she wake she com de ask me why I de sing that song, say na one radio program like that she de hear am. I come tell am say the thing just enter my head this morning.

E get as the thing de do me for bodi wey I wake up for morning see say no b my wife de beside me..."

Now you know it's not the right picture waking up to someone else by your bed side in the morning, other than your wife, but I remember you still told me about plans you had the next day for another lay.

i. The two individuals above are married men
ii. I happen to work with both of them. They both don't share any basic background info other than that they both have male organs
iii. They both happen to have some mistresses somewhere
iv. They both have some sort of mock-penitence as they recounted details of their sexcapades, though this does not stop 'em from going back for more
v. Why do they continue doing what they do?

...I really dunno the answer to that question and I still can't get to fathom why people would get married in the first place and later go back out and play. Don't they know who their wives/husbands are before they got married, so that they could be prepared for whatever surprises might be 'lurking' in the shadows till they say "I do"? I think trying to find answers to this question would be a gargantuan task, like trying to understand the intrinsic nature of humankind.

I'm told I would not understand what is behind it yet till I 'get there'. But I really don't fancy the thought of me 'being there', in this light.

January 16, 2008

Cobweb, go; Post, come

This pic has nothing whatsoever to do with this post...just found it amusing!

Happy new year folkies. Yeah yeah, I know, sounds so last year...uhm, I mean, last two weeks. But it's all good, init? 'slong as it's in Jan, I'm fine by it. Kai, I didn't mean to leave y'all like that o! I know I also said that in some posts ago, but the thing is, it just happens and I almost sorta lose my sanity when it does. But it's good to know we all love each other, crabs and all, right? *bites fingernails


For a fleeting moment I was in Port Harcourt sometime late last December. Every man and woman on the street is a potential sojur, even the cutely-chiseled dames I spotted...Thinking about it, i wasn't in anyway aroused. I can't remember having an erection in like, wat? 3 days? I need to check on that.

Close to SHELL gate a pan, blue Police Toyota Hilux had a collision with a Honda sedan and a biker, or maybe it was the other way round, with either of the mentioned parties guilty. Anyhoos, next thing I see is some dude taking off from the Honda (with doors left open and engine running). He ran in the direction of the nearby MTN office, with an okada mob hot on his trail. I don't know whether he was able to withdraw his keys from the ignition, but good thing is he made it into the 'safety' of the MTN office before they got to him. Something I have learned not to do is stand and wait for the outcome of such an onslaught for fear I may lose an eye. Case being popsi uses his spectacles today cos he was separating a fight in our face-me-I-face-you in Shomolu. So I immediately walked off wishing the bloody civilian well...just as I'd wish myself had I been in his shoes.

Almost all the cutesy vehicles I see has a gun-toting officer (in uniform or plain clothes) in the front seat, whether or not with an expat sitting behind. PH is so militarized it isn't even funny. Reminds me of the situation facing Erezt Israel and their neighbors. Incessant checkpoints, sojurs at almost every corner, and of course the military patrol copter flying overhead.

And then there was the respecter of no one - the traffic. One incident was with a bullion van, as the siren kept blaring in the afternoon humidity, the street hawkers had a lot of fun jeering and mimicking the whole noise. It got to a point where the drivers saw that their antics wouldn't see them through, so the siren died down. Little wonder many expats and government officials are robbed and even shot to death while having a fair share of the respecter of no man.

No camera or laptop to help keep the memory alive.


During the hiatus, I spent some time doing some serious self and trend analysis, I've been able to come to the following conclusion:

*I'm beginning to find myself more reclusive than I thought I'd get. Sounds weird, but I don't know how to talk to people. Not knowing, as in, finding talking boring; NOT not knowing as in, getting on people's nerves when I talk. It's gotten obvious in terms of not calling people 'cos I find the, 'Hello, I just called to say hi' line trite. I'm forced to keep in touch with work folks on phone and yeah, there are times I have to call and say hello to my loved ones. But a good number of the time, I'd rather text and stuff. Sometimes I like it...the only times I don't is when people I care about get vocal about it. (I really do care, even though some say I'm a cold-blooded SOB). Often it seems I'm contradicting myself when I say I care, but the truth is, I find some sense of security in being quiet, in being less the cynosure. Nothing against anyone in particular.

*I don't find myself going with the crowd, the wrong crowd, any more. It isn't like I've been that way for some time. I have friends that are blatantly proud of fronting and flaunting their goods and toys. Good, fine! You should be proud of your accomplishments, but you should also be considerate of the feelings of people around you. Should I blame commercialism? Abi capitalism? Well, I know a heck lot of people who'd be glad to point fingers at what they see on Tv, globalization and oyimbo influence on us. But heck, don't we have brains no more to think and act as 'individuals'? Even the 'West' that these group claim to follow tend to thrive on individualism...or is that assertion an oxymoron on its own? Anyway, while i'm all for teamwork, networking and the like, I'm all for taking responsibility for my actions and trying less to be influenced by unnecessary external forces.

*I'm also trying to distance myself from the crowd that does all the money-talk but choose to close their eyes to realism. The, 'Guy, I go make dis money for this town o! I gatsto hamma!' horde. It's good to have all these fanciful aspirations and goals, but how do you get there without some sort of well-laid out plan and a proper road map to getting there? d'oh! Lil'Wayne has made his dough, however he did it, you don't think is any of your business; but you love him to death, he's your role model and all. You also just wanna 'make it rain', with zero-fucking-initiative. Gee, bro, get a life. Stop the fantasies already! I've had this discussion with you several times, one to one, but I see it's not getting me anywhere, you think I'm hating. Goodluck with everything sha, I've said my own ¢.05

*So I hurt myself as I fixed myself my first grub of the year, and the first grub in my attic. By the way, the grub was worth it as I finally proved to mom that I'm old enough to take care of myself. (Shouldn't there be other ways to prove it). Nah, moving out wasn't just enough to make her worry less. She tasted my taste bud teasing stew amongst other :Thanksgiving-esque: items BEFORE she came to such conclusions. By the way, thanks for your love mom. I'm feeling every bit of it and I'm hoping you know that I love you, too and I mean it when I say it.

Anyway, just thought I'd touch base folks and let y'all know I'm still feeling you like I'm not feeling you, whatever that means. But I guess you get the point. Errrm, I'm going to be in the background most of the time and will come around to show some love when I can. I'm quite a good netizen in some arena and it is the other life I won't stop living, so yeah my e-passport has been renewed. Let's see how it goes...


Even though the incident in question happened late last year, I thought I'd do my mind some good by doing this, so here goes.

Dedicated to all the victims of what is known as 'hit-and-run'


It is quite unfortunate we had to cross paths in this manner. From what I saw a few yards away where I stood gaping at your body, I knew I would gladly ogle at you while I await my burger in Tantalizers. 'What a thought!'...I know

But no, I had to be eyeing you in horror, in shocking disbelief for I couldn't bring myself to accept the reality of what has happened to you
I could not bring myself to look into your face that day because I would sleep differently henceforth

But something tells me, something beyond the physical says it's you I see in my dreams, in that state and I cannot do anything to help you
But why? I know I shouldn't say this because, technically I wasn't behind the wheels

One of the few people I confided in told me I am lucky, it could have been worse. That God was with me and just wanted me to be alive today to write this
I asked myself, 'Why wasn't God with you on that day, so you could live to recount that experience as a 'close call'? Where was God for you at that moment?

Were you ugly? Were you a sinner that deserved such a fate; to go like that? Or were you just a victim of freak circumstance?
Why didn't/couldn't you wait a little longer before you ran into the road? Your friend/sister made it across, but not in a state she envisioned

I could hear the anguish in her voice as she stopped to take in the scene that materialized before her eyes
I could hear the seared hearts, crying at the sheer injustice of it all.

You looked like it was your blooming years, the prime time of your youthful vigor
Your parents, say they are alive, how sad it would be for them looking down at the lifeless body of their daughter
Your siblings, your friends, your boyfriend(s)/lover(s)

I'm not good at this...This is all a puny effort to make sense of it all
I wish I wasn't there at the time
I wish the driver was on the slow lane, going like the pony express (even though. I'm sure I'd be itching for some road rage)

But now I know better
I wish I didn't have to learn this way

So many wishes
Right now, they are what they are, mere wishes...

However, I wish you get this and know how genuinely contrite I am from the whole incident
Rest in peace