How It Do?

Hallo [peeps], how unu de? I've been so busy I hadn't enough time to update. Anyways, I'd just drop something haphazard, so I wouldn't be gone for too long:

De Profundis ad te Domine:

I finished reading "The Sixth Sense", small but very weighty book. I did feel bad for Dr. Crowe in the end. All along he never knew he was a goner, but the little boy from the onset saw it all. It had this twist from the "Ghost" movie, though that had s'more lovey-dovey thingy going in it. I want me a sixth sense, too. I want to be able to help people who are trapped in time, in the 'other world'. Nah, actually for more selfish reasons. Even though I'd love to help such spirits (if at all they are there), I'd want to spook people with such powers and do some other interesting things, like "going places", basically benign stuff. By the way, in this part of the world with so much superstition, I wonder how far I can go with that? Dem go say i don turn winch and I could get myself in trouble. Sometime ago I talked about my interest in telepathy, out-of-body projections and psychokinetic manipulations. I'm up for it o! But keeping it on the hush...my alter-ego is far away now, but we do what we can with the distance.

By the way, I can't seem to control my spending habits when it comes to book deals. I do a lot of walking, so when I stumble over all these book stands, I can't seem to turn away from them: Get six books for the price of five. And good titles and genre, at that (Mystery, Espionage, my favorites). The only self-control I have is to stop myself from spending my bus fare home. I'll try to add my own takes on each of them I complete reading as often as I do.

"Corn-Stops":

I had a funny incident the other day. I was walking past the bus stop when suddenly that strong aroma filled the air. Nothing more than roast corn o! (It's the rainy season again, so it's the norm, with small pear/coconut to go with it). I stopped short in my steps and started to look around to locate the joint. From a distance, I saw the usual barb where they spread them to roast. The mixture of colors on the corn already leaves me wanting: the original orange and black from where the coal's charred it. I could taste it with my eyes...as it were. I made a dash for it . As i scrambled my pocket for some change, the followin conversation ensued:

Me: Madam, how much be dis one? (pointing at one of the ones on d barb)
Madam: Dem don buy am...
Me: Dis one nko?
Madam: Dem don buy am, too. In short, this "girl" don buy this and that one, and this one...(she was pointing out all the ones paid for)...and that one. See ehn, she just de wait make dis one self done so she go carry am join
Me: Haba! Wetin I come de do here? (Disappointed, I shoved my bills in my pocket and prepared to take my leave)

The "girl" proceeded to say something. I thought she was going to change her mind about some of the purchased corn. Instead, she said:

"Girl": Madam, I no be "girl" o, I be woman! Na my oga say make I de dress like this
Madam: I beg, make u no vex (laughs, then adds), na as u dress cos am

When I looked up to check out the girl, she was wearing this very tight leggings, so tight it gripped her "cheeks" and calves, making a good show. 'Not bad sha', I thought to myself. By the time my survey reached her face, ol boy, I had to control myself from lawl lawl lawl. Dis one na "old mama youngy". She had a petité, all right, but her face's wrinkled and she had eye shadow on, with very strong cheekbones "charred" with mascara, blending with bright colored lip stick/gloss. So I felt her embarrassment: Dressed to kill, trying to be young, but her age says differently. The funny part was when she said "Na my oga say make I de dress like this"...hahahaha, the man obviously still wants to be stunned.

I have a skeleton to dismantle with the corn-stops and the setup sha. I mean, like seriously, what's with the queues? Looking at the crowd from a distance, I thought it's a newspaper stand, but on close inspection, I find out it's just another joint. Not everyone has the patience to wait while madam gets the chaff off the corn (or is it the other way self), and then after the whole drama, I wait for it to be roasted. There should be bigger barbs that can contain larger quantities of corn at the ready, so it's more like a PPW (Pay, Pick and Walk) service.

And what's with the #30-40 per handset charge? As if the chronic price increase for other market items isn't enough headache. You lose customers that way. Since I started spending quality time at these joints, I see a lot of people get angry when they come ask, "How much be this one?" and after they hear "#30/40" they grimace and move on. Man must live. The poor shall survive. With those prices, how'd you intend contributing your quota to feeding the masses? What'd you tell St. Peter @ Heaven's Gate when he asks why you made that man die of hunger that evening by denying him corn? Truth be told, a good number of the working population spend an additional 10-20mins after work hours at these joints. Add that to how long they spend munching at it and waiting for vehicle to take them home. This is a very important "sector" that is sometimes overlooked. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. We have an ex-President who owns a huge farm, and when I say huge, I mean huge. We'd petition him to help Nigerians by launching one more of those OFTN (Operation Feed The Nation) programmes; he can get more land that'd be churning out enough corn (and pro'ly other cash/food crops) to stem this rising menace of queues at corn-stops. As if the queues at the gas stations aren't enough. By the way, that's another story...

Gas situation:

Nigeria is Africa's leading oil producer and one of the world's largest BUT we don't have enough of the shege for local consumption. There's always hiccups in supply. Does it have to be so bad? Most other oil producing countries don't have it this bad with their local oil consumption (Not saying they don't have their own domestic issues to deal with like us, but then...). An often made remark is that OBJ met the price of oil at 20-something Naira when he came to power in '99 but he left it at close to a 100 bucks as he left. Again, I'm not saying that I'd rather go back to the military era, but I guess we've established some common ground on something wrong with this picture?

I'd develop a headache talking about the high cost of living in Nigeria since OBJ's handover on May, '29 2007 A.D. Recently, sale of a local refinery, 10% increase in VAT, increase in the price per liter of petrol has created a very tense situation since handover hitherto. The Labor Congress is threatening a strike if its demands to return to the former figures and other issues aren't met (by the way, the LC has been barking for sabre-rattling for some time now without much effect). There's so much elasticity of demand in Naija (Economics students, GCE Nov./Dec. question expo). The price of everything has gone up noticeably. Ashawo will charge more 'cos it cost her more than usual to pay to get to the joint that evening; "Madam" at the corn-stop will add her own "tax" on the corn, so you get to pay an extra 10-20 bucks for a handset; beer gets the usual tax; Not to mention taxi cabs etc. The situation is really bad. At the bus stops, you find a crowd similar to those you find after a good football game at the stadium. Everyone is frowning and wants to get home quick; ready to outdo you when a vehicle comes along, you get elbowed, pinched, kicked and your shirt dirtied just 'cos you want to board a bus to your destination. For the unlucky ones, their cellphones gets pilfered or they lose their cash/wallets in that crowd. Then you pay #200 for a usually #100 trip, an extra 100 bucks. Then there's the chronic, 10-20KM long traffic for those like us traveling to the 'burbs EVERY FRIGGING DAY! A lot of people do not earn enough to ride it through till their next paycheck (or cash). This article from IjebuMan's corner says a lot, too about "Being a Nigerian", though I don't agree with everything it says. People get home frustrated and is there any wonder why some women get a black eye? 'Cos after the man goes through all those shit on the daily, the last thing he wants to meet at home is a nagging midear. I'm not saying that should be a way to vent, but things like this happen and you hear a lot of people blame the system, which again is wrong!

Let me not get us distracted! Bottomline: the fuel issue needs to be resolved soon and fast. It's responsible for a lot of ongoing social difficulties. Hopefully Yar Adua will reach an amicable consensus with Labor before the situation gets any worse than it currently is and we can walk about with less wahala to fume about...

How was your weekend?

Speaking of "walking about", I had a sorta cool weekend. In summary and with some additional info:

*Had a lot of chicken
*Had plenty beer
*Watched "SwordFish", starring John Travolta. This guy is a natural actor.
*Kissed an alsatian puppy. Sorry, couldn't help it but in between all those fun and crawling on the rug, the cutie was sniffing around and while playing with it, he took what's left of the chocolate bar off my mouth. Some people have had it worse, so I won't complain much. Again, if I may add, it's a cutie!
*For the guys: To reduce the effect of a hangover, or to even prevent one: Have your beer with plenty cheese/potato chips (Pringles, Krackas et al), vegetables (salad mixes), chocolate bar, grilled fish/beef/chicken. It goes a long way to help
*Smirnoff Ice is wack drink! Let's get more STAR Lager, Gordon's Sparks et al in the system. I didn't have a good experience with Ice taste, especially. My gripe IS NOT with the aftereffect. Anyone with similar experience?

Well, that's it for now...and before I go, I saw an interesting top I was too broke to buy. It IS Irish 'cos it had a puffy and bearded face on it holding a big jug of beer...It read:

"BEER: Helping ugly people have sex since 1865"

Lol! Classic!

PS: Way-to-go, Blogville Idols ppl