Vows

TO SAY OR NOT TO SAY: "I do; Yes; or Maybe"

The rates at which marriages fail is alarming. What can make someone start thinking of divorce on the wedding night? It's soo absurd. And usually it's not just people who do not know each other. These are people who have, most likely, slept with each other and spent some intimate time together, now to start acting like they just or never met each other before is unbecoming. 'How can that be?' you may ask. Well, I've come up with something:

A 'maybe' answer should be introduced and acceptable in the case where the marriage officiator asks the usual "...agree to have and to hold, till death do you part?" question. Instead of saying, I-do or yes, the bride and groom should be allowed to say 'maybe' afterwards. Of course, this should not be shocking because the couple should have agreed to this before they decide to take it to the altar. And if possible, the marriage officiator should have been debriefed prior to his officiating to expect a 'maybe' answer from either the bride or groom, after the latter group would have given much thought to the implications of the decision they are about to make and step they are both about to take. I will explain myself.

Those who argue that it's either yes or no, the "Pro-I-Do" group postulate that saying, Yes or I-do serves as a sealant to the vow. It is like a reminder, a frontlet band so to speak, to keep each partner in check because it triggers in them the fact that they are married, thus making them more devoted.

And I argue, does maybe not also put some sort of 'seal' on the agreement? The numerous reported cases of infidelity shows that most culprits go into the act with their 9 senses. These are individuals who have said I-do or yes to the marriage officiator's earlier mentioned line. So saying I-do or Yes does not guarantee a 'happily ever after'.

On the other hand, the maybe answer will make both parties involved aware of their imperfection and thus they'd endeavor to stay the course. The human mind, though, is deceptive and I'm sure if the maybe line were to be in place, a lot of people will take advantage and say 'at least I never committed myself...remember I said 'maybe'?' Excuse for loose conduct.

My premise is based on the case that a successful marriage does not depend on whether either the man or woman said 'yes, I do, or maybe' on their wedding day. Rather, it is based on commitment and honesty.
Just as couples who say Yes or I do strive to make things up to each other when the need arises, thus working towards an binding marriage, so can those who say maybe after their vows, on D-day. They can channel their energies into transforming their 'maybes' into full-fledged 'yeses'. I am a strong advocate of being faithful to one's marriage mate and making things work. The 'maybe-peeps' should be given a chance to prove themselves, instead of believing that they will not follow through.

Further, instead of people going blindly into marriage, or going in with deception, or worse still with a silent maybe, knowing they aren't ready to stick to their guns, thru thick and thin, they can take a chance on going in with a maybe and then work to make it a yes, and so forth. In essence, there'd be no reason to be bored in marriage, with the reminder that you have work to do; a sense of duty. If I have my way, I'd say maybe, cos you can never be 100% sure. Or, can you?

What do you guys think? 'Maybe' I'd look back years later and ask myself where I woke the day I wrote this. Or...maybe not. :)


New Pet?

I think I have a new pet...I think! I'm calling her Cinder; she's a stray cat that found its way into the plenum area in the kitchen and has since made itself comfortable. I climbed on a ladder, peeked in and found its blue-green eyes glowing in the dark. Since it's discovery, mom has been terrified and I fear for Cinder's fate. It's going to be suicidal bringing it into the house at this stage. For now, I'll just make do smuggling some leftovers to it up there.

I've always wanted a cat for a pet. I prefer a cat to a dog 'cos it will always remain portable. Pups would grow into large dogs that, unless I castrate him or 'sterilize' her, it'd either poke or be poked. I can't afford the mess. But cats? Depending on the breed, they can only grow more weighty, but more cuddly. I love they way they mew, lick their paws and snuggle up close, purring. Cats are like girlfriends, only difference is, you can't make out with it (at least not for me).

I have read a lot of stories where someone saved a pet and both the savior and the saved end up bonding so well, forging a closeness akin to a male-female relationship. Again, I'm not talking bestiality here. Just, a simple, corny relationship where you find yourself talking to your pet on return from a trip out, like I found myself doing
yesterday evening, as I walked into the kitchen to get supper:

Me: Cindy...you up there? Meeeoooowwh! *knocking the ceiling board*

Cinder: Meeeooww.....meeew...

But it's up there and all I can do is to keep being nice to it, till it probably leaves some day, or as I picture it, bring it in?

Or in the more ideal scenario, as I picture it to be:

*I unlock the main door as I get home from work...anywhere*

Me: Hey, Ciiinddiiii...Are you there?

Cinder: *purring loudly and rubbing at my feet* Meeeeewww...

Me: Ah, there you are! *bending over to pick it up*

Cinder: *purrrrrrrrrrrrs*

Me: Did you have a good day? Mine was pissy. The lady over at O'Neal's was such a grouch. She didn't pay attention to me...too much mayo on my burger. Here, I've got something for you

*I unwrap some meatballs and other orishirishi, placing it inside its litter. It licks my hand....*

Me: There you go...

Cinder: *lying on its back so I can rub its tummy, purrring out loud in approval*



Random Thoughts:

Does Nigeria engage in any form of espionage: political, military, economic or otherwise? At least, it is widely believed that most foreign embassies, consulates and diplomatic outposts are rigged full with spies. I wonder what Nigerian diplomats et al do at Nigerian embassies and consulates abroad. Or do they just hustle to get posted abroad in order to receive estacodes, churn out visas to all and sundry, host and attend diplomatic functions and get fat on their butts? I smell a lot of rotting and rotten fish lately and I don't see why we can't pay back in like. I won't go in to much details...those who should know would understand what I mean :-s ... Or maybe I shouldn't worry! Maybe I'm just overreacting and my imaginations are running wild, no thanks to Tom Clancy & John (Clamp) Sanford. *sighs*

Well, gotta run now. Enjoy your weekend, peeps and be easy, like Sunday morning :)