June 13, 2008

FRIDAY

The Cabbie

Fridays are manic in Abuja, with weekend rush hour traffic. I was stuck in one of those trying to meet up a schedule when I got a call from my destination. I didn't have to get there any more 'cos they've waited, grew impatient and left. Someone would wait for me at a junction with what I was headed to pick. I didn't have to step out of the cabbie, and it was particularly mentioned that I could head back with the same cabbie.

The driver wasn't communicating. Our only exchange thus far had been negotiating prices. The humidity hung almost just above the head. It was suffocating. The traffic light passes just for 30 seconds and flies a bird, I mean shows the red light, again. So getting past wasn't going to happen any time soon. I was bored. I left my bag in a hurry so I had nothing to read. So I tried to make small talk. The next closest thing that came to mind was what I just heard over the phone. My bad sha, cos I guess what I said came out as:

"We go just turn and u go carri me go back"

He didn't say anything. I'm sure he heard. I tried to look outside the window, to get my mind busy with something, anything...just so we could make it pass the dang light.

As soon as I realised we were about getting through, I focused on the road again and to my utter disappointment, astonishment and chagrin, the dude made a u-Turn at the next intersection. I yelled a long-syllabic "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" and made him almost lose control of the wheels, cos he apparently was confused.

"I talk say when we reach there, u go carri me go back"

Cabbie (in Hausa): 'chiginigini, magana hamaman shrriinning'

yeah, yeah, I get it. And so we made our way back to the beginning of the traffic build up...

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrgh!


Later on....Brrrrrr! My ASS!!!

I sat down, bored outta my mind on the stool by the bar. I popped the cork and watched it rolll away from me. Something jolted me and I reached for it, since the cork says "Refresh and Win". Heck, it wouldn't hurt a thing if I tried my luck. 'Sides, I was bored!

There was a pop corn popper to my side giving off heat. The cork rolled as if pulled away from me by some invisible force, and all my lazy attempts to pick it up before it falls over proved lame. I reached out with more effort this time and scalded my right arm. Aaaarghh! Now I have no reason not to pick it up! Not after getting burned!

I picked it up, violently peeled off the protective rubber that stood between me and the information printed on the cork. I was anticipating a "Try Again...don't let the carbon/sugar kill you as you drink some more", but instead, I got:

You've won!

119102791

sms this number to 2653


Fuck me! Woohoo! My heart's veins, arteries, atria and ventricles all pumped 200liters of blood in one minute! I've never been this close to 'winning' anything, except in 199* when I picked up a bottle of free drink after chasing a Coca-Cola supply truck down three streets in my hood. I was so sad, I know.

So what could I have won this time, a day after June 12 in the year of our Lord 2008? A Kia Picanto (most of the promotions have these)? All-expense paid weekend trip for two to visit Olumo Rock? What what what!? I couldn't wait!

I jerked out my fone and quickly typed a message as directed and waited painfully, heart throbbing so hard behind my chest it felt like it was going to leap out of it any moment. I guarded the section with my hands.

Seconds turned into minutes that converts to hours and a text finally came in:

Sender: 2653

*dies, faints, wakes, dies again, convulses...stabilises

Brrrrrr! You are a winner in the Coca-Cola Refresh & Recharge Promotion. Your phone will be credited shortly with 1 min worth of talk time with MTN VTU.


So much for Brrrrrr! They deducted 10,000kobos from my credit balance and it's well over 360 minutes now and counting without the "1 min worth of talk time" added.

And finally...


...someone is trying his hardest to get me real mad and to unleash the dragon, like literally. He's had it coming for weeks now but I keep trying to act like he ain't there. I think I've been mellow for too long and I just need to give a side of me as it's never been seen. Perhaps it's cos I'm sitting idly now that these thoughts are coming up. Maybe I should feed it and get it over with once and for all. FUCK HIM!

What a way to start the weekend!!!

...Have a good one peoples...

19 comments:

trae_z said...

nice writing, you make the simple seem interesting, i enjoy getting into your mind.

it's been ages since I've won anything; Globacom I've been faithful now, reward me now.

AlooFar said...

You write well ;)

Hi

Mz. Dee said...

Lmao.. really nice post.
I agree with aloofar.. u write wonderfully!
I've never won anythin..
uh wait.. i hv actually.
A free bottle of coke.
Oh well.. easy with ur coworker.. i mean if its rily daaaaaaat bad.. go ahead.. fuck himup! :p

NikkiSab said...

Dont hurt ur co worker!!!!!! Ignore him, its d best medicine (he will be mentally scared of u being nice, hehehe). gr8 writing

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

uncle yosh, how far? Will have to come back and read this properly as my people over here are being extremely naughty...

SOMEONE ELSE'S LIFE said...

U lucky u won sth. My younger days i played all them milo, tom tom, butter mint games and came up with nothin. But 1 min from MTN, shhh...dats stingy of dem folk.

badderchic said...

That recharge and win thingy is soo annoying, after taking 15 bucks for text they give me 1 min talktime psheew!

missed you dear.

Jaja said...

na wa o..
bros, update na...

Jaja said...

na wa o..
bros, update na...

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

wissai u dey?

badderchic said...

anyone home?

badderchic said...

yu are finding trouble o!

badderchic said...

perhaps you are finding trouble, where the hell are you?

good naija girl said...

Where did you go jare?

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

ol' boy, happy new year oh!

Ms. Catwalq said...

Yes, I have been away from this blog for months but you have also been incommunicado...
come back. Blogville is dry.

Ms. Catwalq said...

where are u?

Doja 2.0 said...

Post is very old but seems timeless!

Brilliantly Me said...

BJ, where are you?