Post- Speak Up Nigeria
Hello, my fellow compatriots. Happy belated 47th independence anniversary to our dear Nigeria. It pains me that I could not be with you all, by putting up a D-Day post in commemoration of that grand occasion. Needless to say, the campaign went on smoothly and my fellow compatriots did a great job in helping our dear country feel loved and at the same time, not ignoring and bringing to the fore, a lot of issues that need addressing. I went through the letters submitted by contestants on the Speak Up Nigeria Campaign, amongst other personal posts on different blogs and I must say i got goosebumps, you know, good goosebumps, the type you get when something is just sooooo sweet. Butterflies twirled in my tummy as I read each of these auspicious messages. Congratulations Omotaylor on coming out as the winner of the competition. I am proud to be Nigerian. There are a lot of us out there who make us proud and if not for anything else, it helps divert attention from the ills plaguing our society, but directs positive energy toward looking for solutions to each and everyone of these national issues. No doubt, we are getting there. Baby steps is all that is needed but we surely will get there. Amen.
University Education
A lot has happened, personally and secularly and while most isn't funny, I try to ride through it. It's the spirit, eh? But in the midst of those events, I have been itching to air my views on this very disturbing issue. The issue in question is about (Turin) Tomi, the UniLag student who reportedly offed himself due to pressure from 'school' and all that went with it. The issue struck a wrong cord in me and I have been very bitter ever since. The suicide rate in Nigeria is not as much as countries such as Japan and there's a joke that Nigerians love life so much that they'd rather live with their head way in doodie than kill themselves. Yes, life is good, and a lot of us are good at handling stress. Whatever prompted this young man to take his life must have been so aggravating, and no doubt it was. I'm not saying schooling does not go with some measure of stress. Nothing good comes easy and all the pressures that go with meeting deadlines are part of what makes the effort worthwhile in the end, because it prepares one for the busy post-education life. What I'm talking about here is unnecessary stress from sadist lecturers. supervisors and people in positions of authority in our higher institutions. Stress that shouldn't be there in first place. Stress that one can and should avert.
Of course, (Turin) Tomi's suicide has not solved the issue and that is where my angst comes in. The underlying problem is still there and a lot of other students are out there going through the same shit, over and over. All the issues our older siblings go through replicates itself when the younger generation get into the educational system. If nothing is done, our kids would also be victims of the same anomaly. They will have to go through an issue they shouldn't have faced in the first place, simply because we have let these things slip through our hands unsolved.
A lot of people are discouraged because of all these. Our institutes of higher learning are looked at in askance, with dread. This is a malfunction and should be corrected because this fear skewers the intention for wanting to go into a university for education. Now the worry isn't just about how I would see myself through my schooling but also WHY DO I HAVE TO undergo such unnecessary rigors? The system in our universities is dysfunctional. Education is a right! Education should be enjoyable and every effort should be made to present things in this light. With the right educated minds running things, most maladies in society can be kept at a reasonable balance. But what happens when things are the opposite? Now I'm talking about where to get the right treatment. Does it mean my kid cannot be sure of a proper and enabling study environment if I cannot get him/her into Covenant, Babcock, Igbinedion or whatever other private universities are out there? Is the system in Federal & state universities so warped and frustrating that things cannot just be done the right way? Lecturers are expected to be good custodians, but why do they have to hurt students in their custody? Why do most of them choose to be sadists? The system in turn churns out students who are out on a vengeance. It is common to hear people saying they will not go through all of that mess for nothing. They will take out their anger on others who they find in subordinate positions. It's a vicious cycle!
A few lecturers I've spoken to say most students are unserious and they do not know why they are in school. Granted, he has a point! Just like there are a few good male and female lecturers in the school system, there are also serious-minded students out there. There's no justification for lobbing all students together as unserious, dishing out collective punishment. If there is an unserious child in your tutelage, approach him/her and take the necessary corrective measures, instead of maltreating everyone.
You hear lecturers telling students they are doomed to failure, without any reasonable point given as to such an eventuality. Students walk about in fear, attend classes in fear, take tests in fear, expect their results in fear. You cannot be confident in your ability because those who should be there to help you are willing to tap into this undue fret and take advantage.
Another reason why some students are scared of standing up in the face of this vice is this nonchalance on the part of lecturers towards their students' needs has been entrenched in the schools for a long time that it is hard to root it out. It is more like the mafia, some lecturers and students alike are known cultists, so it's a standoff. Who makes the first hit and does it right. Students are afraid to voice their concerns and when they do, it is never orderly; no dialog, just downright chaos. You hear of riots and the eventual shut down of schools for MONTHS. The lecturers shouldn't feel threatened or else they threaten your career future, if not life. So the cycle of fear gets passed down from one academic session to the other, from one graduating class to the next.
Fear is still the enemy. These bad lecturers thrive on the pretext that they are untouchables. Their corruption will keep going unchecked and they will keep getting fattened up in the expense of someone else' child. They know they can get away with being someone else's worst nightmare. But the problem is it shouldn't be in a school environment. As long as we are timid to speak up, there will be no way to act against seeing an end to this menace in our society.
When under attack, it is natural to run. But the problem is running away from the problem does not fix it, instead it's going to keep creeping on you, it will keep haunting you until it overtakes you. But when you find yourself cornered with nowhere else to run, and your attacker keeping up behind, unrelenting in his resolve to hurt you, you have to turn and face your attacker to fend him off, until he no longer poses a threat. That is how this issue should be tackled. This problem where lecturers ride roughshod, and feel they cannot be touched. That is so wrong!
I am not scared of anyone. I don't owe my existence to anyone. How many more would bleed, how many more would have to go the same way as Tomi before we say "No more!"? How many female students would have to lose their self-esteem by sleeping with the lecturers before we say "No More!". How many futures will have to be jeopardized and scarred before the people in the right places would be notified so they can take the right, long-lasting action against these injustices? Laide here mentioned that most of these lecturers have blogs so students can submit assignments online (good stuff). At the same time, there's the fear of repercussion for speaking out against any kind of misdemeanors, since the lecturers could find out which student is behind a particular blog and thus blackmail such student (bad stuff).
Nigerian youth are a tough lot. I believe if we want to do something, with the right attitude, it can be done. We are more informed now than our peers back in the late eighties. There is no need to suffer in silence. We are more motivated now because our eyes are open and we know our rights. It is about taking it. There is power in number. With a great majority of students taking up pickets in protest, or taking the necessary measures, things can be done right. We can start somewhere, no matter how small, or as the case may be, how big we accomplish. This is a big issue that has been malignantly extant for a long time now, and it still is a threat if not checked. There is no need pretending like this problem is not there just because you are not currently affected. Sooner or later, you would probably see yourself singing the blues ki'n se epe - (it's not a curse) - well, that is as long as you have a child, nephew, niece, sister, brother, uncle, aunt, mother, father studying/working or intending to do so in either of these shit holes we call our universities. Enough is enough! It is time to bring these guys to book! I'm quasi-part of the system, so I can only work from the outside. Those of you in the schools, there should be people you can talk to, so they'd get the word out and a first line of action can be thought out. If it's a picket protest, I'd be out with my tees, shots and sneakers sweating my butt off with y'all.
Students of UniLag, UI, Great Ife, OSU, Great UI, all Nigerian students out there, others used to be part or still are quasi-part of the system; do you read me?! Hola if you do!
Aluta, continua!
Showing posts with label Naija. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Naija. Show all posts
October 5, 2007
June 18, 2007
How It Do?
Hallo [peeps], how unu de? I've been so busy I hadn't enough time to update. Anyways, I'd just drop something haphazard, so I wouldn't be gone for too long:
De Profundis ad te Domine:
I finished reading "The Sixth Sense", small but very weighty book. I did feel bad for Dr. Crowe in the end. All along he never knew he was a goner, but the little boy from the onset saw it all. It had this twist from the "Ghost" movie, though that had s'more lovey-dovey thingy going in it. I want me a sixth sense, too. I want to be able to help people who are trapped in time, in the 'other world'. Nah, actually for more selfish reasons. Even though I'd love to help such spirits (if at all they are there), I'd want to spook people with such powers and do some other interesting things, like "going places", basically benign stuff. By the way, in this part of the world with so much superstition, I wonder how far I can go with that? Dem go say i don turn winch and I could get myself in trouble. Sometime ago I talked about my interest in telepathy, out-of-body projections and psychokinetic manipulations. I'm up for it o! But keeping it on the hush...my alter-ego is far away now, but we do what we can with the distance.
By the way, I can't seem to control my spending habits when it comes to book deals. I do a lot of walking, so when I stumble over all these book stands, I can't seem to turn away from them: Get six books for the price of five. And good titles and genre, at that (Mystery, Espionage, my favorites). The only self-control I have is to stop myself from spending my bus fare home. I'll try to add my own takes on each of them I complete reading as often as I do.
"Corn-Stops":
I had a funny incident the other day. I was walking past the bus stop when suddenly that strong aroma filled the air. Nothing more than roast corn o! (It's the rainy season again, so it's the norm, with small pear/coconut to go with it). I stopped short in my steps and started to look around to locate the joint. From a distance, I saw the usual barb where they spread them to roast. The mixture of colors on the corn already leaves me wanting: the original orange and black from where the coal's charred it. I could taste it with my eyes...as it were. I made a dash for it . As i scrambled my pocket for some change, the followin conversation ensued:
Me: Madam, how much be dis one? (pointing at one of the ones on d barb)
Madam: Dem don buy am...
Me: Dis one nko?
Madam: Dem don buy am, too. In short, this "girl" don buy this and that one, and this one...(she was pointing out all the ones paid for)...and that one. See ehn, she just de wait make dis one self done so she go carry am join
Me: Haba! Wetin I come de do here? (Disappointed, I shoved my bills in my pocket and prepared to take my leave)
The "girl" proceeded to say something. I thought she was going to change her mind about some of the purchased corn. Instead, she said:
"Girl": Madam, I no be "girl" o, I be woman! Na my oga say make I de dress like this
Madam: I beg, make u no vex (laughs, then adds), na as u dress cos am
When I looked up to check out the girl, she was wearing this very tight leggings, so tight it gripped her "cheeks" and calves, making a good show. 'Not bad sha', I thought to myself. By the time my survey reached her face, ol boy, I had to control myself from lawl lawl lawl. Dis one na "old mama youngy". She had a petité, all right, but her face's wrinkled and she had eye shadow on, with very strong cheekbones "charred" with mascara, blending with bright colored lip stick/gloss. So I felt her embarrassment: Dressed to kill, trying to be young, but her age says differently. The funny part was when she said "Na my oga say make I de dress like this"...hahahaha, the man obviously still wants to be stunned.
I have a skeleton to dismantle with the corn-stops and the setup sha. I mean, like seriously, what's with the queues? Looking at the crowd from a distance, I thought it's a newspaper stand, but on close inspection, I find out it's just another joint. Not everyone has the patience to wait while madam gets the chaff off the corn (or is it the other way self), and then after the whole drama, I wait for it to be roasted. There should be bigger barbs that can contain larger quantities of corn at the ready, so it's more like a PPW (Pay, Pick and Walk) service.
And what's with the #30-40 per handset charge? As if the chronic price increase for other market items isn't enough headache. You lose customers that way. Since I started spending quality time at these joints, I see a lot of people get angry when they come ask, "How much be this one?" and after they hear "#30/40" they grimace and move on. Man must live. The poor shall survive. With those prices, how'd you intend contributing your quota to feeding the masses? What'd you tell St. Peter @ Heaven's Gate when he asks why you made that man die of hunger that evening by denying him corn? Truth be told, a good number of the working population spend an additional 10-20mins after work hours at these joints. Add that to how long they spend munching at it and waiting for vehicle to take them home. This is a very important "sector" that is sometimes overlooked. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. We have an ex-President who owns a huge farm, and when I say huge, I mean huge. We'd petition him to help Nigerians by launching one more of those OFTN (Operation Feed The Nation) programmes; he can get more land that'd be churning out enough corn (and pro'ly other cash/food crops) to stem this rising menace of queues at corn-stops. As if the queues at the gas stations aren't enough. By the way, that's another story...
Gas situation:
Nigeria is Africa's leading oil producer and one of the world's largest BUT we don't have enough of the shege for local consumption. There's always hiccups in supply. Does it have to be so bad? Most other oil producing countries don't have it this bad with their local oil consumption (Not saying they don't have their own domestic issues to deal with like us, but then...). An often made remark is that OBJ met the price of oil at 20-something Naira when he came to power in '99 but he left it at close to a 100 bucks as he left. Again, I'm not saying that I'd rather go back to the military era, but I guess we've established some common ground on something wrong with this picture?
I'd develop a headache talking about the high cost of living in Nigeria since OBJ's handover on May, '29 2007 A.D. Recently, sale of a local refinery, 10% increase in VAT, increase in the price per liter of petrol has created a very tense situation since handover hitherto. The Labor Congress is threatening a strike if its demands to return to the former figures and other issues aren't met (by the way, the LC has been barking for sabre-rattling for some time now without much effect). There's so much elasticity of demand in Naija (Economics students, GCE Nov./Dec. question expo). The price of everything has gone up noticeably. Ashawo will charge more 'cos it cost her more than usual to pay to get to the joint that evening; "Madam" at the corn-stop will add her own "tax" on the corn, so you get to pay an extra 10-20 bucks for a handset; beer gets the usual tax; Not to mention taxi cabs etc. The situation is really bad. At the bus stops, you find a crowd similar to those you find after a good football game at the stadium. Everyone is frowning and wants to get home quick; ready to outdo you when a vehicle comes along, you get elbowed, pinched, kicked and your shirt dirtied just 'cos you want to board a bus to your destination. For the unlucky ones, their cellphones gets pilfered or they lose their cash/wallets in that crowd. Then you pay #200 for a usually #100 trip, an extra 100 bucks. Then there's the chronic, 10-20KM long traffic for those like us traveling to the 'burbs EVERY FRIGGING DAY! A lot of people do not earn enough to ride it through till their next paycheck (or cash). This article from IjebuMan's corner says a lot, too about "Being a Nigerian", though I don't agree with everything it says. People get home frustrated and is there any wonder why some women get a black eye? 'Cos after the man goes through all those shit on the daily, the last thing he wants to meet at home is a nagging midear. I'm not saying that should be a way to vent, but things like this happen and you hear a lot of people blame the system, which again is wrong!
Let me not get us distracted! Bottomline: the fuel issue needs to be resolved soon and fast. It's responsible for a lot of ongoing social difficulties. Hopefully Yar Adua will reach an amicable consensus with Labor before the situation gets any worse than it currently is and we can walk about with less wahala to fume about...
How was your weekend?
Speaking of "walking about", I had a sorta cool weekend. In summary and with some additional info:
*Had a lot of chicken
*Had plenty beer
*Watched "SwordFish", starring John Travolta. This guy is a natural actor.
*Kissed an alsatian puppy. Sorry, couldn't help it but in between all those fun and crawling on the rug, the cutie was sniffing around and while playing with it, he took what's left of the chocolate bar off my mouth. Some people have had it worse, so I won't complain much. Again, if I may add, it's a cutie!
*For the guys: To reduce the effect of a hangover, or to even prevent one: Have your beer with plenty cheese/potato chips (Pringles, Krackas et al), vegetables (salad mixes), chocolate bar, grilled fish/beef/chicken. It goes a long way to help
*Smirnoff Ice is wack drink! Let's get more STAR Lager, Gordon's Sparks et al in the system. I didn't have a good experience with Ice taste, especially. My gripe IS NOT with the aftereffect. Anyone with similar experience?
Well, that's it for now...and before I go, I saw an interesting top I was too broke to buy. It IS Irish 'cos it had a puffy and bearded face on it holding a big jug of beer...It read:
"BEER: Helping ugly people have sex since 1865"
Lol! Classic!
PS: Way-to-go, Blogville Idols ppl
De Profundis ad te Domine:
I finished reading "The Sixth Sense", small but very weighty book. I did feel bad for Dr. Crowe in the end. All along he never knew he was a goner, but the little boy from the onset saw it all. It had this twist from the "Ghost" movie, though that had s'more lovey-dovey thingy going in it. I want me a sixth sense, too. I want to be able to help people who are trapped in time, in the 'other world'. Nah, actually for more selfish reasons. Even though I'd love to help such spirits (if at all they are there), I'd want to spook people with such powers and do some other interesting things, like "going places", basically benign stuff. By the way, in this part of the world with so much superstition, I wonder how far I can go with that? Dem go say i don turn winch and I could get myself in trouble. Sometime ago I talked about my interest in telepathy, out-of-body projections and psychokinetic manipulations. I'm up for it o! But keeping it on the hush...my alter-ego is far away now, but we do what we can with the distance.
By the way, I can't seem to control my spending habits when it comes to book deals. I do a lot of walking, so when I stumble over all these book stands, I can't seem to turn away from them: Get six books for the price of five. And good titles and genre, at that (Mystery, Espionage, my favorites). The only self-control I have is to stop myself from spending my bus fare home. I'll try to add my own takes on each of them I complete reading as often as I do.
"Corn-Stops":
I had a funny incident the other day. I was walking past the bus stop when suddenly that strong aroma filled the air. Nothing more than roast corn o! (It's the rainy season again, so it's the norm, with small pear/coconut to go with it). I stopped short in my steps and started to look around to locate the joint. From a distance, I saw the usual barb where they spread them to roast. The mixture of colors on the corn already leaves me wanting: the original orange and black from where the coal's charred it. I could taste it with my eyes...as it were. I made a dash for it . As i scrambled my pocket for some change, the followin conversation ensued:
Me: Madam, how much be dis one? (pointing at one of the ones on d barb)
Madam: Dem don buy am...
Me: Dis one nko?
Madam: Dem don buy am, too. In short, this "girl" don buy this and that one, and this one...(she was pointing out all the ones paid for)...and that one. See ehn, she just de wait make dis one self done so she go carry am join
Me: Haba! Wetin I come de do here? (Disappointed, I shoved my bills in my pocket and prepared to take my leave)
The "girl" proceeded to say something. I thought she was going to change her mind about some of the purchased corn. Instead, she said:
"Girl": Madam, I no be "girl" o, I be woman! Na my oga say make I de dress like this
Madam: I beg, make u no vex (laughs, then adds), na as u dress cos am
When I looked up to check out the girl, she was wearing this very tight leggings, so tight it gripped her "cheeks" and calves, making a good show. 'Not bad sha', I thought to myself. By the time my survey reached her face, ol boy, I had to control myself from lawl lawl lawl. Dis one na "old mama youngy". She had a petité, all right, but her face's wrinkled and she had eye shadow on, with very strong cheekbones "charred" with mascara, blending with bright colored lip stick/gloss. So I felt her embarrassment: Dressed to kill, trying to be young, but her age says differently. The funny part was when she said "Na my oga say make I de dress like this"...hahahaha, the man obviously still wants to be stunned.
I have a skeleton to dismantle with the corn-stops and the setup sha. I mean, like seriously, what's with the queues? Looking at the crowd from a distance, I thought it's a newspaper stand, but on close inspection, I find out it's just another joint. Not everyone has the patience to wait while madam gets the chaff off the corn (or is it the other way self), and then after the whole drama, I wait for it to be roasted. There should be bigger barbs that can contain larger quantities of corn at the ready, so it's more like a PPW (Pay, Pick and Walk) service.
And what's with the #30-40 per handset charge? As if the chronic price increase for other market items isn't enough headache. You lose customers that way. Since I started spending quality time at these joints, I see a lot of people get angry when they come ask, "How much be this one?" and after they hear "#30/40" they grimace and move on. Man must live. The poor shall survive. With those prices, how'd you intend contributing your quota to feeding the masses? What'd you tell St. Peter @ Heaven's Gate when he asks why you made that man die of hunger that evening by denying him corn? Truth be told, a good number of the working population spend an additional 10-20mins after work hours at these joints. Add that to how long they spend munching at it and waiting for vehicle to take them home. This is a very important "sector" that is sometimes overlooked. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. We have an ex-President who owns a huge farm, and when I say huge, I mean huge. We'd petition him to help Nigerians by launching one more of those OFTN (Operation Feed The Nation) programmes; he can get more land that'd be churning out enough corn (and pro'ly other cash/food crops) to stem this rising menace of queues at corn-stops. As if the queues at the gas stations aren't enough. By the way, that's another story...
Gas situation:
Nigeria is Africa's leading oil producer and one of the world's largest BUT we don't have enough of the shege for local consumption. There's always hiccups in supply. Does it have to be so bad? Most other oil producing countries don't have it this bad with their local oil consumption (Not saying they don't have their own domestic issues to deal with like us, but then...). An often made remark is that OBJ met the price of oil at 20-something Naira when he came to power in '99 but he left it at close to a 100 bucks as he left. Again, I'm not saying that I'd rather go back to the military era, but I guess we've established some common ground on something wrong with this picture?
I'd develop a headache talking about the high cost of living in Nigeria since OBJ's handover on May, '29 2007 A.D. Recently, sale of a local refinery, 10% increase in VAT, increase in the price per liter of petrol has created a very tense situation since handover hitherto. The Labor Congress is threatening a strike if its demands to return to the former figures and other issues aren't met (by the way, the LC has been barking for sabre-rattling for some time now without much effect). There's so much elasticity of demand in Naija (Economics students, GCE Nov./Dec. question expo). The price of everything has gone up noticeably. Ashawo will charge more 'cos it cost her more than usual to pay to get to the joint that evening; "Madam" at the corn-stop will add her own "tax" on the corn, so you get to pay an extra 10-20 bucks for a handset; beer gets the usual tax; Not to mention taxi cabs etc. The situation is really bad. At the bus stops, you find a crowd similar to those you find after a good football game at the stadium. Everyone is frowning and wants to get home quick; ready to outdo you when a vehicle comes along, you get elbowed, pinched, kicked and your shirt dirtied just 'cos you want to board a bus to your destination. For the unlucky ones, their cellphones gets pilfered or they lose their cash/wallets in that crowd. Then you pay #200 for a usually #100 trip, an extra 100 bucks. Then there's the chronic, 10-20KM long traffic for those like us traveling to the 'burbs EVERY FRIGGING DAY! A lot of people do not earn enough to ride it through till their next paycheck (or cash). This article from IjebuMan's corner says a lot, too about "Being a Nigerian", though I don't agree with everything it says. People get home frustrated and is there any wonder why some women get a black eye? 'Cos after the man goes through all those shit on the daily, the last thing he wants to meet at home is a nagging midear. I'm not saying that should be a way to vent, but things like this happen and you hear a lot of people blame the system, which again is wrong!
Let me not get us distracted! Bottomline: the fuel issue needs to be resolved soon and fast. It's responsible for a lot of ongoing social difficulties. Hopefully Yar Adua will reach an amicable consensus with Labor before the situation gets any worse than it currently is and we can walk about with less wahala to fume about...
How was your weekend?
Speaking of "walking about", I had a sorta cool weekend. In summary and with some additional info:
*Had a lot of chicken
*Had plenty beer
*Watched "SwordFish", starring John Travolta. This guy is a natural actor.
*Kissed an alsatian puppy. Sorry, couldn't help it but in between all those fun and crawling on the rug, the cutie was sniffing around and while playing with it, he took what's left of the chocolate bar off my mouth. Some people have had it worse, so I won't complain much. Again, if I may add, it's a cutie!
*For the guys: To reduce the effect of a hangover, or to even prevent one: Have your beer with plenty cheese/potato chips (Pringles, Krackas et al), vegetables (salad mixes), chocolate bar, grilled fish/beef/chicken. It goes a long way to help
*Smirnoff Ice is wack drink! Let's get more STAR Lager, Gordon's Sparks et al in the system. I didn't have a good experience with Ice taste, especially. My gripe IS NOT with the aftereffect. Anyone with similar experience?
Well, that's it for now...and before I go, I saw an interesting top I was too broke to buy. It IS Irish 'cos it had a puffy and bearded face on it holding a big jug of beer...It read:
"BEER: Helping ugly people have sex since 1865"
Lol! Classic!
PS: Way-to-go, Blogville Idols ppl
June 5, 2007
Union Bank
I went to Union Bank on Friday to make a cash lodgment for my buddy. But when I got to the entrance, it almost looked like the bank was handing out free #1000 bills cos of the crowd at the bank's entrance. I didn't bother finding out what the fuss was all about, so I walked straight in to the banking hall for serious business.
At the entrance, I noticed this wall plaque that read:
Our Mission:
To be the foremost financial institution with the most satisfied customers
Our Vision
"To be the best of the best to bank on"
OF COURSE! What bank wouldn't want to be ALL that? This was at the Abuja main branch in Garki. As I stepped into the hall proper, the air conditioner couldn't contain the height of CO2 in that place men. It was so humid in there with all sorts of ppl: sweating, pregnant, tired, snoozing, chatting, standing, moping, you name it. I asked for the deposit slip and some guys standing beside the counter started laughing at me. I couldn't tell why. Thinking about it, since it was the end of the month, I felt the crowd I saw were mostly people who came in for withdrawals. So they probably were laughing at me for thinking I could get stuff done and leave asap. It was sort of related, as I eventually found out.
I walked over to the counter and looked at the worn out lady behind the counter:
Me: Good afternoon. Please, I need to make a deposit...
Woman: *sighs* Join that queue...(she lazily threw her arm to my left so I could see for myself)
Me: You mean, all these people are waiting to make some sort of payments? I thought they are only here for withdrawals O
The woman just ignored me. The group of men that were laughing earlier started again after they heard her response. This time, i got sorta furious, but I didn't show it. This is me, leaving some things unattended thinking I could just dash in and out of the bank, but see me o! I managed to speak to some guy with a better countenance who told me he's been coming back and forth the bank for the past four days without being able to get access to his account. Mind you, this was Friday. It was the end of the month, salaries tied in their different accounts and people needed to get some cash baaadly. I now understood why there were so many people loitering outside the bank. Just as we finished talking, one man was shouting at the top of his voice, down the banking hall...
"What rubbish?! This is nonsense. You people make me come here to pay in my money and now it's time to get it out, it's wahala? WHat nonsense! What sort of rubbish is this?"
I left that branch and thought I could be fast and use another branch, but same story. They even referred me back to where I was coming from. WHY ALL THESE? SO yeah, long story short, the bank was upgrading their "systems". That's the mantra the staff kept dishing out that day and I'd bet the previous days.
Human errors, we've got to give them the benefit of the doubt. We can not be sure of 100% up time in business and all that. But why couldn't the server (or whatever they were doing) be migrated over the weekend, say starting late after work hours on Friday and then the I.T. department be made to work in earnest, ensuring everything is up latest Tuesday? This was at a very sensitive period and people are made to suffer like this. Whatever happened to banking with ease, with all the technology available these days? Heck, even some ATM machines are broken and they are usually "temporarily out of service" for weeks if not months. It's really bad and as I speak, Union Bank is still not operating. They even have a message on their web site greeting you with an apology.
As I walked out of the bank, I read another sign on the building...
UNION BANK PLC..
BIG, STRONG, RELIABLE.
Reliable...indeed.
Misc:
I'll leave you all with Helga's satire of the current move by the US to be more environmentally responsible. I know it's a weird web site AND post, but humor me!
Warning: Might be insulting, proceed with caution: For those with my weird sense of humor, enjoy! :)
----------------------------------------------------------------
Hallow Noble Savages,
I am Helga Mohammed el-Salami, Liquid Generation’s gas-guzzling (and emitting) uncircumcised, pre-operative transsexual and I am pissed as poo about the greening of America. Now that the celebrities are on the Global Warming kick along with their robotic spokesmodel, all you neophyte environmentalists have replaced your light bulbs, bought Priuses and started turning down your air conditioning. Congratulations. I hope you dislocate your shoulder patting yourselves on the back. Judging by the continued success of Inconvenient Truth, panic sells better than sex.
So after you’ve gotten bark-burn from hugging all those trees, go home, take a shower, shave your armpits, and listen up: you’re all blithering idiots. I can’t wait until the day I don’t have to listen to your preaching any more and whining about my gas-guzzling fleet. Green this, green that. Unless you’re talking about green beer, you can all kiss by big...black...Hummer.
When was the last time you heard any whining about CFCs? DDT? The Ozone hole? Indeed, you will be hard pressed to hear any of the panic mongering from the last century. I know all the pot-smoking really harms the short-term memory but let’s have a refresher.
In 1906, Upton Sinclair waxed tragic about the state of the meatpacking business in the US. So after I cried for Jurgis Rudkus, I went out and fed my sorrow a delicious cheeseburger that likely contained 1x10-5 parts feces rodentia. And you know what? It tasted absolutely the same as the last time when it might have contained 1x10-3. Figure that if you eat a burger 3 times a week for 20 years, you will, at some point, dine on of 1x10-12345 parts Jurgis’ finger (although now it’ll more likely be Juan’s). Yet, despite all the rats and cannibalism and oppression of young immigrants, you’ll still be bitching about your blood sugar at an average 77.85 years of age.
In 1962, Rachel Carson launched a thorough and successful assault on pesticides commonly used in agriculture with her comedy masterpiece: Silent Spring. After nearly 45 years, DDT is no longer used. Every organism on the planet has what was once considered a lethal quantity of it in its cells and the human ones are still alive to bitch about the worms in their raspberries.
My favorite: 1968, Paul Ehrlich prophesized in The Population Bomb that by 2050, there’d be so many of us that we’ll all be living in a 2000 story skyscraper that covered every inch of the earth. Construction challenges facing such a structure would limit socializing to those several floors away. We have some time before 2050 but let’s not pour concrete in our swimming pools quite yet.
And finally, in 2005, the esteemed Jared Diamond, author of one of the most insightful and profound books of the previous decade: Guns Germs and Steel, tried to break the wave of his success on Collapse, a book about the failure of societies due to a laundry-list of (mostly environmental) issues. It’s too soon to render a verdict on the bearded Professor since he wisely chose topics which cannot be gauged within a human lifetime but the book itself was a real steaming pile of environmental compost. I can’t resist quoting Fred L. Smith Jr Competitive Enterprise Institute: "[a] jumble of jigsaw puzzle pieces laid out on the table - no structure, no serious organization." Indeed, I was so pissed after reading this book that I wanted to rip out all 592 pages and use every single one to give the author paper cuts between his toes. Then set him out barefoot on the New Guinea lowlands about which he can’t seem to shut the flock up. But this isn’t a book review and I digress because I’m getting all worked up again so I’m going to end this paragraph prematurely: *SPURT*
Now then, I bet you couldn’t identify a single one of these panic prophets if I held an ozone hole over your head. You can identify Gore because he was once the Secretary of Vice Presidency or something like that. What’s the point of my incessant mockery? That we will survive. We survived before and will again. And if we don’t, if the polar ice caps melt and the oceanic currents stop, and if the ocean washes inland a further 500 miles then at least we’ll prove Paul Ehrlich decisively wrong by dying en masse! And then we’ll prove my real-estate agent decisively right by increasing Chicago property value. Then we’ll have a surviving world with a much higher average IQ without LA or the Middle East to drag it down. Even though the fish that take up residence in the former will be pretty while those in the latter will likely make their females swim behind them.
Print that out and paint it Red # 5.
Helga Mohammed el-Salami
[If you’d like to read more of Helga’s angry ramblings, please go to his/her website right now before he/she finds you, and eats/sheats you for dinner
At the entrance, I noticed this wall plaque that read:
Our Mission:
To be the foremost financial institution with the most satisfied customers
Our Vision
"To be the best of the best to bank on"
OF COURSE! What bank wouldn't want to be ALL that? This was at the Abuja main branch in Garki. As I stepped into the hall proper, the air conditioner couldn't contain the height of CO2 in that place men. It was so humid in there with all sorts of ppl: sweating, pregnant, tired, snoozing, chatting, standing, moping, you name it. I asked for the deposit slip and some guys standing beside the counter started laughing at me. I couldn't tell why. Thinking about it, since it was the end of the month, I felt the crowd I saw were mostly people who came in for withdrawals. So they probably were laughing at me for thinking I could get stuff done and leave asap. It was sort of related, as I eventually found out.
I walked over to the counter and looked at the worn out lady behind the counter:
Me: Good afternoon. Please, I need to make a deposit...
Woman: *sighs* Join that queue...(she lazily threw her arm to my left so I could see for myself)
Me: You mean, all these people are waiting to make some sort of payments? I thought they are only here for withdrawals O
The woman just ignored me. The group of men that were laughing earlier started again after they heard her response. This time, i got sorta furious, but I didn't show it. This is me, leaving some things unattended thinking I could just dash in and out of the bank, but see me o! I managed to speak to some guy with a better countenance who told me he's been coming back and forth the bank for the past four days without being able to get access to his account. Mind you, this was Friday. It was the end of the month, salaries tied in their different accounts and people needed to get some cash baaadly. I now understood why there were so many people loitering outside the bank. Just as we finished talking, one man was shouting at the top of his voice, down the banking hall...
"What rubbish?! This is nonsense. You people make me come here to pay in my money and now it's time to get it out, it's wahala? WHat nonsense! What sort of rubbish is this?"
I left that branch and thought I could be fast and use another branch, but same story. They even referred me back to where I was coming from. WHY ALL THESE? SO yeah, long story short, the bank was upgrading their "systems". That's the mantra the staff kept dishing out that day and I'd bet the previous days.
Human errors, we've got to give them the benefit of the doubt. We can not be sure of 100% up time in business and all that. But why couldn't the server (or whatever they were doing) be migrated over the weekend, say starting late after work hours on Friday and then the I.T. department be made to work in earnest, ensuring everything is up latest Tuesday? This was at a very sensitive period and people are made to suffer like this. Whatever happened to banking with ease, with all the technology available these days? Heck, even some ATM machines are broken and they are usually "temporarily out of service" for weeks if not months. It's really bad and as I speak, Union Bank is still not operating. They even have a message on their web site greeting you with an apology.
As I walked out of the bank, I read another sign on the building...
UNION BANK PLC..
BIG, STRONG, RELIABLE.
Reliable...indeed.
Misc:
I'll leave you all with Helga's satire of the current move by the US to be more environmentally responsible. I know it's a weird web site AND post, but humor me!
Warning: Might be insulting, proceed with caution: For those with my weird sense of humor, enjoy! :)
----------------------------------------------------------------
Hallow Noble Savages,
I am Helga Mohammed el-Salami, Liquid Generation’s gas-guzzling (and emitting) uncircumcised, pre-operative transsexual and I am pissed as poo about the greening of America. Now that the celebrities are on the Global Warming kick along with their robotic spokesmodel, all you neophyte environmentalists have replaced your light bulbs, bought Priuses and started turning down your air conditioning. Congratulations. I hope you dislocate your shoulder patting yourselves on the back. Judging by the continued success of Inconvenient Truth, panic sells better than sex.
So after you’ve gotten bark-burn from hugging all those trees, go home, take a shower, shave your armpits, and listen up: you’re all blithering idiots. I can’t wait until the day I don’t have to listen to your preaching any more and whining about my gas-guzzling fleet. Green this, green that. Unless you’re talking about green beer, you can all kiss by big...black...Hummer.
When was the last time you heard any whining about CFCs? DDT? The Ozone hole? Indeed, you will be hard pressed to hear any of the panic mongering from the last century. I know all the pot-smoking really harms the short-term memory but let’s have a refresher.
In 1906, Upton Sinclair waxed tragic about the state of the meatpacking business in the US. So after I cried for Jurgis Rudkus, I went out and fed my sorrow a delicious cheeseburger that likely contained 1x10-5 parts feces rodentia. And you know what? It tasted absolutely the same as the last time when it might have contained 1x10-3. Figure that if you eat a burger 3 times a week for 20 years, you will, at some point, dine on of 1x10-12345 parts Jurgis’ finger (although now it’ll more likely be Juan’s). Yet, despite all the rats and cannibalism and oppression of young immigrants, you’ll still be bitching about your blood sugar at an average 77.85 years of age.
In 1962, Rachel Carson launched a thorough and successful assault on pesticides commonly used in agriculture with her comedy masterpiece: Silent Spring. After nearly 45 years, DDT is no longer used. Every organism on the planet has what was once considered a lethal quantity of it in its cells and the human ones are still alive to bitch about the worms in their raspberries.
My favorite: 1968, Paul Ehrlich prophesized in The Population Bomb that by 2050, there’d be so many of us that we’ll all be living in a 2000 story skyscraper that covered every inch of the earth. Construction challenges facing such a structure would limit socializing to those several floors away. We have some time before 2050 but let’s not pour concrete in our swimming pools quite yet.
And finally, in 2005, the esteemed Jared Diamond, author of one of the most insightful and profound books of the previous decade: Guns Germs and Steel, tried to break the wave of his success on Collapse, a book about the failure of societies due to a laundry-list of (mostly environmental) issues. It’s too soon to render a verdict on the bearded Professor since he wisely chose topics which cannot be gauged within a human lifetime but the book itself was a real steaming pile of environmental compost. I can’t resist quoting Fred L. Smith Jr Competitive Enterprise Institute: "[a] jumble of jigsaw puzzle pieces laid out on the table - no structure, no serious organization." Indeed, I was so pissed after reading this book that I wanted to rip out all 592 pages and use every single one to give the author paper cuts between his toes. Then set him out barefoot on the New Guinea lowlands about which he can’t seem to shut the flock up. But this isn’t a book review and I digress because I’m getting all worked up again so I’m going to end this paragraph prematurely: *SPURT*
Now then, I bet you couldn’t identify a single one of these panic prophets if I held an ozone hole over your head. You can identify Gore because he was once the Secretary of Vice Presidency or something like that. What’s the point of my incessant mockery? That we will survive. We survived before and will again. And if we don’t, if the polar ice caps melt and the oceanic currents stop, and if the ocean washes inland a further 500 miles then at least we’ll prove Paul Ehrlich decisively wrong by dying en masse! And then we’ll prove my real-estate agent decisively right by increasing Chicago property value. Then we’ll have a surviving world with a much higher average IQ without LA or the Middle East to drag it down. Even though the fish that take up residence in the former will be pretty while those in the latter will likely make their females swim behind them.
Print that out and paint it Red # 5.
Helga Mohammed el-Salami
[If you’d like to read more of Helga’s angry ramblings, please go to his/her website right now before he/she finds you, and eats/sheats you for dinner
May 30, 2007
That guy over there
Most of us have friends, people who matter to us. We try to meet up to their expectations. I am one of those people who have these gifts called friends. And as most gifts, having friends comes with a lot of responsibility. The thing is, I'm now at this IDGAF stage and I don't want anyone to look up to me, to set this standard for me. I set the standards for me, I call the shots! I mean, this life is mine. When, God forbid, shit hits the fan, I wonder how many of these career advisers, morality preachers and so-called "opinion leaders" will be there to help clean up the mess. So I say, lay the fuck off my life, already! I can't please every one and I can't live my life trying to.
So to my friends out there: I love you all! But hopefully y'all will learn to take me, scoin-scoin and all. And for those who'd find it hard dealing with the real me, take me as 'that guy over there', 'cos well, that'd do you some good instead of working your hiney off worrying over what you need to take a chill pill on, or perhaps just let be. It isn't like I haven't always been the real me, it's just that the mind works in a selective way and people tend to see what they prefer to see in you and when they don't, they try to "fix" you. I'm not broken and no, I don't need no fixing. Next page!
Nollywood:
So I was in the waiting room with my friend who went in for a head scan the other day. I didn't mind the TV at first until I heard the following lines:
All this stuff doesn't mean anything. Money, this, doesn't mean anything without trust. I have to be able to trust you with my life.
Snap! I looked up quickly, looking out to see my man "Ace" from the movie Casino (one of the best movies I've ever seen, btw). I could have that movie on replay on a good day and I'll never get tired of watching it. Just writing that part reminds me of this scene where one of Nicky's boys pissed Ace off. And he said to him:
"You took your boots off? You put your feet on the table? You shit-kicking, stinky, horse-manure-smellin' motherfucker you. You fuck me up over there, I'll stick you in a hole in the fuckin' desert."
[Click here for more quotes from the movie]
He's so foul-mouthed, that one! That movie was an explosion: Joe Pesci and Robert De Niro...
EHEN! Back to reality! After I heard those lines I thought it was my favorite movie that was on o, but when I looked up from my book to the TV, who did I see? Ramsey Nuoah (abi na Noah self) was talking to Genievive Nnaji. Worrahell? It was this Nollywood-Casino-wannabe movie sha. OK, well you guys had better get something better to offer through this movie after using that line from one of my best of the bests! To even think that was the only thing they stole from the movie was underestimating them o! These guys completely stole the whole storyline of Casino! The whole nine yards! Kai, Nollywood sha. The only difference is that in this movie, Ramsey was some big boy, butt kicking kingpin, every other thing was from Casino. And no, I won't give it to them. They didn't do a good job stealing and that was the annoying part. That was an insult to my favorite movie and I demand a compensation from whoever directed Rip Off 1 & 2 (that's the title of the Naija movies, for those who care to check it out). Heck, I shouldn't even help them with the publicity, but that goes to tell u how much it got to me!
To Nollywood: It's not all about churning out 100 movies in a month (that's pro'ly an understatement). It's more of quality and the memory that sticks for a long time. So stop with the intellectual property stealing and what not! Let's look within and get ideas for movies, instead of living off what this other people have worked so hard on. And if you have to steal, well, you'd better be good at it.
End of lecture!
Misc:
So I saw this one armed bicycle rider today. I dunno how he does it. He actually looked comfortable on it, which means he's been at it for quite sometime. He was soft-pedaling on the sidewalks. I think that was impressive o, like what you'd see in a circus. I know some stunt ppl do ride without holding the handles and stuff, but this one was cool cos this guy is handicapped. So yeah...
So to my friends out there: I love you all! But hopefully y'all will learn to take me, scoin-scoin and all. And for those who'd find it hard dealing with the real me, take me as 'that guy over there', 'cos well, that'd do you some good instead of working your hiney off worrying over what you need to take a chill pill on, or perhaps just let be. It isn't like I haven't always been the real me, it's just that the mind works in a selective way and people tend to see what they prefer to see in you and when they don't, they try to "fix" you. I'm not broken and no, I don't need no fixing. Next page!
Nollywood:
So I was in the waiting room with my friend who went in for a head scan the other day. I didn't mind the TV at first until I heard the following lines:
All this stuff doesn't mean anything. Money, this, doesn't mean anything without trust. I have to be able to trust you with my life.
Snap! I looked up quickly, looking out to see my man "Ace" from the movie Casino (one of the best movies I've ever seen, btw). I could have that movie on replay on a good day and I'll never get tired of watching it. Just writing that part reminds me of this scene where one of Nicky's boys pissed Ace off. And he said to him:
"You took your boots off? You put your feet on the table? You shit-kicking, stinky, horse-manure-smellin' motherfucker you. You fuck me up over there, I'll stick you in a hole in the fuckin' desert."
[Click here for more quotes from the movie]
He's so foul-mouthed, that one! That movie was an explosion: Joe Pesci and Robert De Niro...
EHEN! Back to reality! After I heard those lines I thought it was my favorite movie that was on o, but when I looked up from my book to the TV, who did I see? Ramsey Nuoah (abi na Noah self) was talking to Genievive Nnaji. Worrahell? It was this Nollywood-Casino-wannabe movie sha. OK, well you guys had better get something better to offer through this movie after using that line from one of my best of the bests! To even think that was the only thing they stole from the movie was underestimating them o! These guys completely stole the whole storyline of Casino! The whole nine yards! Kai, Nollywood sha. The only difference is that in this movie, Ramsey was some big boy, butt kicking kingpin, every other thing was from Casino. And no, I won't give it to them. They didn't do a good job stealing and that was the annoying part. That was an insult to my favorite movie and I demand a compensation from whoever directed Rip Off 1 & 2 (that's the title of the Naija movies, for those who care to check it out). Heck, I shouldn't even help them with the publicity, but that goes to tell u how much it got to me!
To Nollywood: It's not all about churning out 100 movies in a month (that's pro'ly an understatement). It's more of quality and the memory that sticks for a long time. So stop with the intellectual property stealing and what not! Let's look within and get ideas for movies, instead of living off what this other people have worked so hard on. And if you have to steal, well, you'd better be good at it.
End of lecture!
Misc:
So I saw this one armed bicycle rider today. I dunno how he does it. He actually looked comfortable on it, which means he's been at it for quite sometime. He was soft-pedaling on the sidewalks. I think that was impressive o, like what you'd see in a circus. I know some stunt ppl do ride without holding the handles and stuff, but this one was cool cos this guy is handicapped. So yeah...
May 28, 2007
Online Transaction
So I just performed my first online transaction ever in Naija. "What's the biggie?", you might ask. Well, it is o, because in such a place as Naija, with "fast guys" everywhere you turn, you'd be taking the whole internet security/online transaction thing as half-truths. So today, I just felt the urge to break the jinx. And break it, I did. I renewed my passport on here. It was really seamless. And for those outside Naija, you could actually apply for your visas online from the 2nd link titled "Visa Application Home" on the left side of the page.
What made it more interesting was how quick they debited my account and sent a confirmation to my e-mail almost immediately confirming the transaction and stuff. It felt so cool that things are looking more easier here. Though the site said secure, I'm going to be logging in to check my balance the next few days for anything odd with it oO!...maybe the PIN has been intercepted by some g33k somewhere who'd now come back to pwnt me. Yeah, that's my paranoid self talking...
Anyhoos, just thought I'd say that and wish you all a peaceful handover tomorrow. I'll be sleeping in and doing some writing...so we'd see, coming back in one piece by Wednesday. I know it's just a day in between but with the whole hype on TV, it looks like Naija's about to go through a nuclear holocaust...Who say democracy na moin-moin?
Love y'all
What made it more interesting was how quick they debited my account and sent a confirmation to my e-mail almost immediately confirming the transaction and stuff. It felt so cool that things are looking more easier here. Though the site said secure, I'm going to be logging in to check my balance the next few days for anything odd with it oO!...maybe the PIN has been intercepted by some g33k somewhere who'd now come back to pwnt me. Yeah, that's my paranoid self talking...
Anyhoos, just thought I'd say that and wish you all a peaceful handover tomorrow. I'll be sleeping in and doing some writing...so we'd see, coming back in one piece by Wednesday. I know it's just a day in between but with the whole hype on TV, it looks like Naija's about to go through a nuclear holocaust...Who say democracy na moin-moin?
Love y'all
The Nigerian Proclamation
IN RECENT HISTORY, NIGERIANS HAVE BEEN OVERWHELMINGLY BETRAYED BY THOSE CHARGED WITH ADDRESSING THEIR NEEDS. INSTEAD OF SERVING THE PEOPLE, PUBLIC SERVANTS HAVE SERVED THEMSELVES TO THE DETRIMENT OF THE MASSES. THE RESULT IS A NATION LACKING ADEQUATE INFRASTRUCTURE, ORGANIZATION AND SECURITY.
THE INEFFECTIVENESS OF NIGERIAN LEADERS INDICATES A LACK OF ACCOUNTABILITY TO THE CONSTITUENTS. NIGERIANS ARE NO LONGER RELEVANT TO THE LEADERS, THUS, LEADERS DO NOT FEEL RESPONSIBLE TO THEM.
THE RECENT FAILURE TO CONDUCT A FREE AND FAIR ELECTORAL PROCESS WAS YET ANOTHER ILLUSTRATION THAT THE NEEDS OF THE MANY ARE SECONDARY TO THE WANTS OF THE IMPORTANT FEW.
FROM THIS DAY, ALL NIGERIANS ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE FUTURE OF THIS GREAT & POWERFUL COUNTRY. CONSEQUENTLY, ALL NIGERIANS MUST COMMIT THEMSELVES TO THE FOLLOWING:
1. WE MUST DEMAND THAT ELECTED OFFICIALS BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR THEIR ACTIONS AND IN-ACTIONS.
2. WE MUST EXPECT DEMOCRATIC PRINCIPLES TO BE HONORED, RESPECTED AND MAINTAINED.
3. WE MUST BELIEVE THAT ALL NIGERIANS ARE EQUAL UNDER THE LAW AND SHOULD BE TREATED AS SUCH.
4. WE MUST APPLY OURSELVES TO IMPROVING THE LOT OF EVERY INDIVIDUAL NIGERIAN REGARDLESS OF GENDER, RELIGION, TRIBE OR SOCIAL STATUS.
5. WE MUST STRIVE TO MAINTAIN A UNITED REPUBLIC DESPITE OUR DIFFERENCES.
ONLY UPON ACHIEVING THESE PRINCIPLES CAN WE AS A PEOPLE FULLY LIVE UP TO OUR POTENTIAL AS A LAND OF GREATNESS. FOR OURS IS A COUNTRY RENOWNED FOR ITS ILLUSTRIOUS PEOPLE, AMPLE RESOURCES AND SHEER PHYSICAL BEAUTY.
THE INEFFECTIVENESS OF NIGERIAN LEADERS INDICATES A LACK OF ACCOUNTABILITY TO THE CONSTITUENTS. NIGERIANS ARE NO LONGER RELEVANT TO THE LEADERS, THUS, LEADERS DO NOT FEEL RESPONSIBLE TO THEM.
THE RECENT FAILURE TO CONDUCT A FREE AND FAIR ELECTORAL PROCESS WAS YET ANOTHER ILLUSTRATION THAT THE NEEDS OF THE MANY ARE SECONDARY TO THE WANTS OF THE IMPORTANT FEW.
FROM THIS DAY, ALL NIGERIANS ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE FUTURE OF THIS GREAT & POWERFUL COUNTRY. CONSEQUENTLY, ALL NIGERIANS MUST COMMIT THEMSELVES TO THE FOLLOWING:
1. WE MUST DEMAND THAT ELECTED OFFICIALS BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR THEIR ACTIONS AND IN-ACTIONS.
2. WE MUST EXPECT DEMOCRATIC PRINCIPLES TO BE HONORED, RESPECTED AND MAINTAINED.
3. WE MUST BELIEVE THAT ALL NIGERIANS ARE EQUAL UNDER THE LAW AND SHOULD BE TREATED AS SUCH.
4. WE MUST APPLY OURSELVES TO IMPROVING THE LOT OF EVERY INDIVIDUAL NIGERIAN REGARDLESS OF GENDER, RELIGION, TRIBE OR SOCIAL STATUS.
5. WE MUST STRIVE TO MAINTAIN A UNITED REPUBLIC DESPITE OUR DIFFERENCES.
ONLY UPON ACHIEVING THESE PRINCIPLES CAN WE AS A PEOPLE FULLY LIVE UP TO OUR POTENTIAL AS A LAND OF GREATNESS. FOR OURS IS A COUNTRY RENOWNED FOR ITS ILLUSTRIOUS PEOPLE, AMPLE RESOURCES AND SHEER PHYSICAL BEAUTY.
May 25, 2007
See Me See Wahala O
I would normally have taken this to "Dear Passion" to handle but I figured since I have "What It Is", serving as my mouthpiece, I might as well use it.
Ever since Ex began giving off the slow but sure-coming warning sign [see her reply to my comment], that soon all my kaya WILL BE thrown outside till this finalé [see comments exchange] (now that is a story for another day), AND in my bid to remain proactive on the whole shebang I started eyeing one program like that.
Within the past two weeks, I started dropping hints, and thought I'd switch gears by applying some lovey-dovey stuff. 1st phone call since I switched gears: "Hi boo.." ... and we spoke. Maybe she decided to ignore that usage? Hmmm, believing that the first attempt didn't hit it, I sent a text recently with "boo" in it also. Well, all these instances nothing was said up until our conversation yesterday:
"Boo": Hi
Me: Hey, watagwan? "Hi" sounds cold to me...
"Boo": *after long pause* R U interested in me?
Me: Like hell yeah, what do you think? What sorta question is that, btw?
"Boo": Did I in anyway make you angry, recently?
Me: Well, yeah, but that's no big deal, we've dealt with it and moved on, shey?
"Boo": OK...if you say so...but something has been bothering me and I want to talk about it...
Me: *haba, isn't it too early for this?* Uhh, well, let's hear it.
"Boo": Why did you call me a boo? I checked the dictionary and the definition of a boo means to shame somebody or to show disinterest in somebody. If you are interested in me, why would you call me a boo? I did not find it funny at all and I just thought I'd tell you
Me: *Trying to keep my "cool" and also keep myself from lmbfao on the phone. I thought as much, all those unreactions to my calling her "boo". This must be it...*
Aahhh...I'm sorry you got it all wrong. You are right about that dictionary definition, but you see, you cannot find most slangs defined in dictionaries, for a few exceptions and specialized types. "Boo" in the context I used it means "girlfriend", it is an endearment and I did not mean any insults at your person.
"Boo": *after a long silence...and in a pouty tone* I just told you o! I don't like it. But if you say so sha...If I don't like anything, I usually speak my mind
Me: No wahala...
Wahala de o! Isn't it too early for this? Ehn? Chai, so next time now when I go say sugar-pie, she fit talk say I want turn am to food wey I go chop! I gats to open my eyes next time o, make I know who I de talk to. But as this one is still fresh, I dunno whether to wear my slippers and gbe ja or my people:
What It Do?
Signed,
Yosh in BedLam
PS: Happy handover weekend, all! But how can be happy when there's fuel shortage, ehn? See all the queues at the gas stations, it's not even funny. Plus transport cost has doubled just within these few days...Not only the fuel stations o, the Labor Congress is threatening to strike by next week, so I guess there's a connection between the strike and fuel scarcity, 'cos fuel-tankers (those trailers dem) are not supplying to the stations = scarcity. Even Children's Day weekend won't be fun. Which kain yeye holiday be this? Anyhoos peeps, enjoy it however u can...hopefully things will change before Tuesday! I go miss Obj, sha! *sniffles*
Now THAT...was totally random!
P.P.S: There's a frenzy with people trying to get rid of their old 5, 10, 20 and 50 Naira bills. It's so funny now when you whip it out, people would readily reject it...There should be a better way of exchanging these old bills for new ones, than just having people fear they are losing some money from having "old" currency...Naija sha
Ever since Ex began giving off the slow but sure-coming warning sign [see her reply to my comment], that soon all my kaya WILL BE thrown outside till this finalé [see comments exchange] (now that is a story for another day), AND in my bid to remain proactive on the whole shebang I started eyeing one program like that.
Within the past two weeks, I started dropping hints, and thought I'd switch gears by applying some lovey-dovey stuff. 1st phone call since I switched gears: "Hi boo.." ... and we spoke. Maybe she decided to ignore that usage? Hmmm, believing that the first attempt didn't hit it, I sent a text recently with "boo" in it also. Well, all these instances nothing was said up until our conversation yesterday:
"Boo": Hi
Me: Hey, watagwan? "Hi" sounds cold to me...
"Boo": *after long pause* R U interested in me?
Me: Like hell yeah, what do you think? What sorta question is that, btw?
"Boo": Did I in anyway make you angry, recently?
Me: Well, yeah, but that's no big deal, we've dealt with it and moved on, shey?
"Boo": OK...if you say so...but something has been bothering me and I want to talk about it...
Me: *haba, isn't it too early for this?* Uhh, well, let's hear it.
"Boo": Why did you call me a boo? I checked the dictionary and the definition of a boo means to shame somebody or to show disinterest in somebody. If you are interested in me, why would you call me a boo? I did not find it funny at all and I just thought I'd tell you
Me: *Trying to keep my "cool" and also keep myself from lmbfao on the phone. I thought as much, all those unreactions to my calling her "boo". This must be it...*
Aahhh...I'm sorry you got it all wrong. You are right about that dictionary definition, but you see, you cannot find most slangs defined in dictionaries, for a few exceptions and specialized types. "Boo" in the context I used it means "girlfriend", it is an endearment and I did not mean any insults at your person.
"Boo": *after a long silence...and in a pouty tone* I just told you o! I don't like it. But if you say so sha...If I don't like anything, I usually speak my mind
Me: No wahala...
Wahala de o! Isn't it too early for this? Ehn? Chai, so next time now when I go say sugar-pie, she fit talk say I want turn am to food wey I go chop! I gats to open my eyes next time o, make I know who I de talk to. But as this one is still fresh, I dunno whether to wear my slippers and gbe ja or my people:
What It Do?
Signed,
Yosh in BedLam
PS: Happy handover weekend, all! But how can be happy when there's fuel shortage, ehn? See all the queues at the gas stations, it's not even funny. Plus transport cost has doubled just within these few days...Not only the fuel stations o, the Labor Congress is threatening to strike by next week, so I guess there's a connection between the strike and fuel scarcity, 'cos fuel-tankers (those trailers dem) are not supplying to the stations = scarcity. Even Children's Day weekend won't be fun. Which kain yeye holiday be this? Anyhoos peeps, enjoy it however u can...hopefully things will change before Tuesday! I go miss Obj, sha! *sniffles*
Now THAT...was totally random!
P.P.S: There's a frenzy with people trying to get rid of their old 5, 10, 20 and 50 Naira bills. It's so funny now when you whip it out, people would readily reject it...There should be a better way of exchanging these old bills for new ones, than just having people fear they are losing some money from having "old" currency...Naija sha
May 21, 2007
Got Beef...
What is with higher education Naija!? I've always tried to ignore how bad it is but now it hits closer home when it happened to my brother. He applied for part-time studies in University of Abuja, chose a particular program and had to wait. The first class he attended on a Friday evening was not so what it was supposed to be. It was more like a trade meeting where the students had to negotiate with lecturers on how they can "succeed" for the semester. They were told they have to purchase and read-up 10 textbooks for their program, buy handouts and then get ready for the exams. I don't even want to get started on the handouts. The handouts look like some nonsense some dreary-eyed lecturer ends up scribbling by 12am, he then makes copies of it and sells to the students. Other lecturers are "civil" enough to take their write-ups to some cut-and-nail business center to get it typed with so much typos and grammatical errors that'd leave you wondering if this is supposed to be some lecture material. It's so pathetic. And in the end, they have the gutso to stand up and tell students that purchasing these parchments account for 10% of their overall semester scores. Students are in turn led into a frenzy of trying to purchase these and focus on them, thus distracting a lot of them from what they should really focus on for the semester-their course work, which should come from some other reliable source.
Lectures are conducted haphazardly. Tired students come into classrooms in the evening from their different jobs or whatever they keep busy with. Mr. Okoro thinking about the proposal he submitted that is yet to get "pushed" through sits there distracted, sketching or writing blankly in his book. Ms. Rose's daughter keeps crying in the lecture hall and gets interrupted several times with trips out of class. Cellphones are the norm with the students taking call in the classes. All the lecturer needs to do is frighten them with failure and the lot who do not even have time to open their textbooks know what to do by the end of semester - see Mr. Lecturer for "settlement".
The part that actually raised my BP was when he came back the other day with a letter for provisional admission stating his admission number and program. Dude applied for Public Administration, but on his letter of admission it was auto-changed to "B.Ed. Mathematics". What the flying fck? How d bloody hell is he going to adjust after all these time? He waited for over a year for this and when it was time, he got this. I just can't put in words how disappointed I am with this. I feel so bad and helpless. Ho hum, he isn't alone in this as a good number of students applying for preliminary studies get the same treatment also. Studying full time isn't any joke, either. JAMB screws people over, over and over again. And when you are done with JAMB, you have to go into school to face the madness. For the past year or so, there's been little or no news from ASUU. But this year, they've come up with a, "Hello, we're still here" message by going on strike. Mind you, I have nothing against unions, but for all that's Holy, there should be some measure of reasonableness when things happen to some sectors. Not Education, not Health, not Security. And even if it has to happen, it should not for so long before things should get corrected. But not in Naija...Doctors strike, Police strike and Universities strike. Not just for a day, or week...it goes for months or so. And we expect the society to thrive?
Dysfunctional! The system looks that way, sometimes. Private Universities are, well, private - made for the middle- and above middle-class who can afford it. Those who wouldn't bother flying their kids outta the country for better schooling send their kids there. But the average Joe cannot send his kid to a private university BECAUSE of the fees. The child will not be able to get a good education, one better than you can get from public funded universities, whether on the Federal or State level so he has to settle for less. Schools aren't producing the right type of graduates any more. You hear people talk about getting admission to school, the conversation is more of a, "Just go in there, do what you have to do, play with the system, when you come out, you don't have to work with what you went in there to study." Graduates come out and they end up with jobs they do not like, things they do not have a passion to do because they have no choice. They just need a job, they need to survive. There is no much contribution into society coming from the graduates of different faculties in the universities. "Engineering, Medicine" and other professional courses in the schools do not bring out people who are ready for the workforce. Our graduates have to go outside Naija for additional training and qualification before they can come home and help, IF they return, that is. Nigerians are running to universities in Ghana, South Africa, Malaysia, Indonesia (nitori olo'un), just so they can get away from home.
I know this is more like a complaint without much solution being proferred. The thing is, I feel helpless and I do not know where to start effecting any changes from. No reporting mechanism to check what these lecturers do. It starts from there...and even if you try to fix it, you'd be the scapegoat because you are in the almost non-existent minority. You'd never graduate from any other university in Naija. Things happen and then those responsible for the ills get away with it because that is how things have always been, I'm not the one to die and fix it.
Breaking The Habit:
I'm curious on smokers getting addicted to cigs. Other than knowing cigs contain some addictive substance, I don't see what makes it addictive. I know this sounds naïve, but i'm not trying to downplay the seriousness of the matter. The few times I've done it, and heretofore, I've yet to have an urge to go pick up one of those sticks again, unless I'm in the same scenario that even prompted me to do it the first time. So my questions are:
1. Does this addiction happen overtime, with constant exposure?
2. From personal experience: Care to share how long you've been smoking and what actually makes you keep doing it?
3. From personal experience(s): What makes it hard for you [or anyone you may know] to break the habit?
Misc:
I finished reading "Red Cloud's Revenge" today. Good book, met up to expectations, but with the incoming whites gaining ground eventually, but not so easily, it was expected. But it had enough details to raise the hair on my arm. Books have this way of telling stories that watching a screenplay of the same book does not. I'd try to get something else, soon. I guess this year's my year of books as I'm on a campaign to up my reading habits. It's paying off in subtle ways, I can feel.
Lectures are conducted haphazardly. Tired students come into classrooms in the evening from their different jobs or whatever they keep busy with. Mr. Okoro thinking about the proposal he submitted that is yet to get "pushed" through sits there distracted, sketching or writing blankly in his book. Ms. Rose's daughter keeps crying in the lecture hall and gets interrupted several times with trips out of class. Cellphones are the norm with the students taking call in the classes. All the lecturer needs to do is frighten them with failure and the lot who do not even have time to open their textbooks know what to do by the end of semester - see Mr. Lecturer for "settlement".
The part that actually raised my BP was when he came back the other day with a letter for provisional admission stating his admission number and program. Dude applied for Public Administration, but on his letter of admission it was auto-changed to "B.Ed. Mathematics". What the flying fck? How d bloody hell is he going to adjust after all these time? He waited for over a year for this and when it was time, he got this. I just can't put in words how disappointed I am with this. I feel so bad and helpless. Ho hum, he isn't alone in this as a good number of students applying for preliminary studies get the same treatment also. Studying full time isn't any joke, either. JAMB screws people over, over and over again. And when you are done with JAMB, you have to go into school to face the madness. For the past year or so, there's been little or no news from ASUU. But this year, they've come up with a, "Hello, we're still here" message by going on strike. Mind you, I have nothing against unions, but for all that's Holy, there should be some measure of reasonableness when things happen to some sectors. Not Education, not Health, not Security. And even if it has to happen, it should not for so long before things should get corrected. But not in Naija...Doctors strike, Police strike and Universities strike. Not just for a day, or week...it goes for months or so. And we expect the society to thrive?
Dysfunctional! The system looks that way, sometimes. Private Universities are, well, private - made for the middle- and above middle-class who can afford it. Those who wouldn't bother flying their kids outta the country for better schooling send their kids there. But the average Joe cannot send his kid to a private university BECAUSE of the fees. The child will not be able to get a good education, one better than you can get from public funded universities, whether on the Federal or State level so he has to settle for less. Schools aren't producing the right type of graduates any more. You hear people talk about getting admission to school, the conversation is more of a, "Just go in there, do what you have to do, play with the system, when you come out, you don't have to work with what you went in there to study." Graduates come out and they end up with jobs they do not like, things they do not have a passion to do because they have no choice. They just need a job, they need to survive. There is no much contribution into society coming from the graduates of different faculties in the universities. "Engineering, Medicine" and other professional courses in the schools do not bring out people who are ready for the workforce. Our graduates have to go outside Naija for additional training and qualification before they can come home and help, IF they return, that is. Nigerians are running to universities in Ghana, South Africa, Malaysia, Indonesia (nitori olo'un), just so they can get away from home.
I know this is more like a complaint without much solution being proferred. The thing is, I feel helpless and I do not know where to start effecting any changes from. No reporting mechanism to check what these lecturers do. It starts from there...and even if you try to fix it, you'd be the scapegoat because you are in the almost non-existent minority. You'd never graduate from any other university in Naija. Things happen and then those responsible for the ills get away with it because that is how things have always been, I'm not the one to die and fix it.
Breaking The Habit:
I'm curious on smokers getting addicted to cigs. Other than knowing cigs contain some addictive substance, I don't see what makes it addictive. I know this sounds naïve, but i'm not trying to downplay the seriousness of the matter. The few times I've done it, and heretofore, I've yet to have an urge to go pick up one of those sticks again, unless I'm in the same scenario that even prompted me to do it the first time. So my questions are:
1. Does this addiction happen overtime, with constant exposure?
2. From personal experience: Care to share how long you've been smoking and what actually makes you keep doing it?
3. From personal experience(s): What makes it hard for you [or anyone you may know] to break the habit?
Misc:
I finished reading "Red Cloud's Revenge" today. Good book, met up to expectations, but with the incoming whites gaining ground eventually, but not so easily, it was expected. But it had enough details to raise the hair on my arm. Books have this way of telling stories that watching a screenplay of the same book does not. I'd try to get something else, soon. I guess this year's my year of books as I'm on a campaign to up my reading habits. It's paying off in subtle ways, I can feel.
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