Et Al

I see their mouths moving, but I don't hear the words uttered
I am far away, lost in my thoughts
Why is this meeting dragging? Actually, I haven't been sitting there for more than five minutes
I writhe in my seat, from discomfort, even though there's no reason for that
The seat has enough cushion to soothe my butt
Pockets of sweat start to form on my forehead
I excuse myself from the party, some matter of urgency needs to be attended to
I instinctively, headed down the hall, that's where the room should be
Pirouetting, desperately looking for a cue
Ah, there it is, I turned the knob without thinking twice
One more door to go, I twist the knob, bang the door shut
I fumble with the internal latch, under normal circumstances, it shouldn't take more than 10 seconds to get it set in
But it takes a while, as my body trembles and my palms get sweaty
The sweats from my head trickle down my nape, soakin my shirt collar
"zwip" goes the zip, I pull down my slacks
One more to go, I pull down the undies
I settle on the throne, heave a sigh of relief and smile to myself
'Ah, at last!' I muse...as the overstayed visitors leave my system
I whip out my phone and decide who's next to receive a text

-- Le Dump

Live Free or DieHard

I saw DieHard-4 at the NuMetro cinema on Saturday. DieHard 4 is the best of the series I've seen, yet. Unlike M:I-3, even at the 4th part it still exceeds expectations, from the first to the heart-throbbing last minute, it was worth the wait. I kept shifting in my seat, with my underpants kinda moist from anxiety. Daaamn! Cyber-terrorism and all that jazz. Bruce Willis is good...He doesn't want to step down for his seed...not like has to do that, anyway. I enjoyed him in Lucky Number Slev7n, another bad-ass movie. It's a must-see, if you must!

Trivia - Why I turned in late for work...

Here are the top 10 examples of the most unusual excuses employees offered their managers for arriving late to work, Source:

1. Someone was following me, and I drove all around town trying to lose them.
2. My dog dialed 911, and the police wanted to question me about what "really" happened.
3. My girlfriend got mad and destroyed all of my undergarments.
4. I woke up and thought I was temporarily deaf.
5. I just wasn't "feelin' it" this morning.
6. I was up all night arguing with God.
7. A raccoon stole my work shoe off my porch.
8. I super-glued my eye thinking it was contact solution.
9. I was putting lotion on my face when my finger went up my nose causing a nose bleed.
10. A prostitute climbed into my car at a stop light, and I was afraid my wife would see her and think I was messing around... so I got out of the car.

Hope y'all had a good weekend. Just thot I'd stop over and show some love. I'm in backville, for the moment.

Eric-Jones-Michael-Yerima

Eric-Jones-Michael-Yerima: we both wrote the SATs bac in 2005. We just did it for the helluvit, unlike most of the kids who were there, those ajebotas millin about and trying to form turfs for the 3 or so hours we socialized that day. Me and Michael Yerima were there by providence. We hit it off immediately and I found him interesting, weird sense of humor, just like me. He's got good head on his shoulders and thinks fast. The kinda guy that can get you in and out of trouble. He sees it all, but wouldn't say, so you've gotta be one step ahead, or at least try to be, when you are with him. We exchanged contacts and tried to keep in touch post-SAT. The first few months was all right, we e-mailed back and forth, spoke on the phone as need arises...Then the loud silence...no e-mails, no calls-zilch! It all happened so fast we both didn't know it was happening. Some dry weekend like that, some guy I don't have on my chat list sent me an IM on msgr:

Name: Eric Jones

He says I know him...hmmm, well, I play along with him. I enjoyed his quirks and before long, he says he changed his e-mail address etc. No phones anymore, so I can't reach him that way. Uh, okay, no problems, I'll try and be in touch in this manner. And we did. Before long, we lost touch again. This time, there's no way to reach him. Once in a while, he sends e-mails from this weird-ass addresses, but no probs, at least we are in touch. Oops,hell naw, he was gone, again! Hmmm, this kain friend na wa o! I just decided to take my mind off him...

So one Saturday, AGAIN, I jejely de bed na im my fone vibrate. Gbbrrrrr...I checked, and it was him who text...he had my number from somewhere and just got in touch. He's in town and would want us to meet up. Good stuff...we exchanged messages back and forth, how disappointed it was losing touch and all that. We pledged that hell or high water, this time, we MUST meet before he sneaks out of town back to school (He's in ABU-Zaria). We agreed, everything looked positive.

Two days before our supposed meeting day, I decided to call him just to confirm everything will still pan out. Every dial got a "network/number busy" feedback. Hmmm, I paused a while and noticed we were both preventing each other from getting across, unwittingly, of course. This has gotta be good o!!! Beer don suffer! His first words were:

"Man, I know you'll kill me after all we've said, but I'm gonna say it anyways..."

I've learned to expect ANYTHING and EVERYTHING from ANYONE. I knew where he was headed, but I told him I needed a good explanation this time. Little did I know dude's been going thru hell. Dude's got serious issues, peoples! But I wouldn't go into all the details here and now. We talked about the past, from the last time we set eyes on each other, after the exams that day, up till that VERY minute we were speaking. It was good to know everything, the name changes and all that shit. We spoke from 12am till, I can't even remember, but I remember I didn't sleep till very early the next day. Dude's a soldier in this life, man! He's seen a lot of hell but I decide to not act surprise. I give him some of my own weird stories too and we both laughed it off, like it was all normal, but later before hanging up we both admitted to shocking each other.

Why couldn't we meet this time? Well:

1. He'd rather leave town before he offs his old man. They've both had it coming and before it ends up in NewsLine, someone's gotta leave..

2. Earlier in the week, he'd made a trip to Jos to find his immediate older brother. He found him, quite all right, but dude isn't gonna come home. He'd rather be taken dead than come home alive. Never wants to set eyes on their old man, either. They best be apart or else somebody's gotta die

3. The eldest brother is alive and well, but would rather be left alone wherever he's holed up. They can be the best of friends apart rather than physically around each other. Every man to himself...

So my homie's at that stage now where his brothers took off. I tried to talk him into maintaining some sort of contact with the old man. He's the last straw and if he goes, the man would probably give up the ghost. Losing ALL YOUR KIDS like that? Their mom's been divorced for as long as he knew how to zip up his pants after peeing, so that's not even an option. Every man to himself.

I feel bad for him, but he's taking it as a man. I'm proud of him. He's tough, I admire that. When I'd thought I had it bad all along, I didn't know mine is quite manageable. Guys, give thanks for what you have o! You never know what people are going through out there. I know he's got a good head and we've pledged to each other that we'd both stay in touch. We'd fight together soon, on the fronts and we'd prevail. We know what to do and we've both started out on that journey...

Arrivederci, for now, my good friend, Eric-Jones-Michael-Yerima, I sure know you use either of those as your real name. While you remain an enigma, I'd be glad to help you through whatever it is life throws your way. I've gotchur back!

So that's where I've been, my people. I've been hit by bouts of blues lately, but I'm steering away from it. I'm back to myself again and hopefully I'd be back to the norm and more, soon-ish.

--

I just read "Flags of our Fathers" , and boy does that book takes it to a whole 'nother level, probably 'cos it's as real as the nails on my fingers. It's worth the skipped lunch, I beg. Kai, I'd want my son to be a U.S. Marine sha...those guys are bad! But on another thought, it's good to know the price of freedom and why we shouldn't balk in the face of a threat to our existence. And yet, some stupid people want to stay politically correct. Let me not even start on that, self. It's 2030, so I've gotta head home now...

brb...

P.S.: You tell a child to act normal, but they grow up and act normal, but you don't like normal. So do you stop liking them? Your choice! -- A.Y.

P.P.S.: My current favorite font is Eras Demi Light ITC ,try it on MS Word when next you are there... ;)

Gift

If I knew you were going to leave that day, and in the conditions we parted, I'd have left you at home and gone out alone
It was unfair that our time together was cut short, but thinking about it, maybe it happened for good
You were my alter-ego, you knew just what songs to sing, what pictures to show me to make me feel better, you had it all
Even when I was at odds with my relatives, those that are very close to me, you found a way closer to my heart In the eyes of others, you don't look like you're worth it, but I appreciate every bit of u 'cos I knew what I did before I was able to get you
Now that you are gone, everything that belonged to you seems to bring about memories that make me nostalgic I rest, assured in the thought that I did not give you any reason to leave me that way
Providence obviously had a different plan for us altogether, a plan which I still find hard to accept But in all, I look out every day with hope, wishing you are happy where you are
No, not wanting you to stay there, but to come back to me, where you belong...I hope

Ode-esque to my Sansa - October 2006 to March, 2007

I lost my first mp3 player ever, in March 2007, it didn't even last up to 6 months with me, so sad! I'm usually very careful with things like that, so how this one slipped outta my hand beats me. I've settled to either of two things:

*One of those boys took it while I wasn't paying much attention, apparently I was too busy that weekend that I slacked on my paranoia

*It slipped off in the cab I last boarded. Ever since that day, I always check the cabs as I alight to make sure I don't have anything on the seats. I've come close to losing a phone that way, too. And most of the cab drivers can't give a shit less, they wouldn't holla at me if I'm mistakenly leaving something behind.

A week before this past Friday I was working feverishly at placing an order for a replacement mp3 player but for some odd reason the payment wouldn't be processed faster. I really don't believe in the "Every disappointment is a blessing" maxim; but this one happened to be so. I'd have been expecting the new one in the mail, without knowing I'd be getting one as a surprise soonest. And when I do, I'd be having two of them. Not that it could turn out a bad thing having two of them, but if I'd known earlier, I could channel the bucks into getting something else, like a camera. Actually, now that it's happened, I'd just use it to get a kewl camera.

So I got home and opened my box, not expecting the surprise I got, but I found in the bigger box, this docking station:



Then in the smaller box, I found this:


Excitement! It's so good to be back...

I was supposed to come with a different update, but the comments reminded me I haven't posted about my package from the weekend. So, as usual, BRB! :P